My name is Link y'all Im straight outta Hyrule Been on the force of good since 1986. Old school. I'm bringin you a laid back summertime jam Hold on a minute Link Hey what's up Old Man? I see that you're embarking on another epic quest You're gonna use your Ocarina to rescue the Princess But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss It's dangerous to go alone take this Oh thanks old man that is really very nice I can always count on you for help and friendly advice Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size Oh God that's not a sword it's your dick in disguise Yes I can't lie I have painted my shween Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean Wait a minute Link don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going This is a great chance to fondle old scrotum that you're blowing That was weird but whatever there is no time to lose I've gotta to warp right now to Zelda in this chilled out groove Wait this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute junction Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned I gotta fix it quickly, there is justice to do Hold on a minute Link Old man, is that you? This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits It's dangerous to go alone. Take this! Well that's really kind of...that's your wrinkled dick again Look I know I wear a tunic, but I'm not into men Don't be that way bitch, let me introduce you To my three best friends: Mr. Johnson and the juice crew If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber? OH MY GOD! I've got to warp out of here, Princess Zelda awaits I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late Ok...now I REALLY don't know where I am Hold on a minute Link GodDAMMIT Old Man! You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss It's dangerous to go alone take.... NO! -blam!- YOU! I'M NOT GIVING YOU A... STOP THE CHILLED OUT GROOVE!