I know the title may be inflammatory to some, so I'll start by saying I love the destiny community and usually have no issues.
Anytime I raid with a team that's over 50% strangers I always wind up getting kicked. Regardless of my K/d, light, dps or general wipe-causing--blam!-ups I'm always the one kicked.
Am I being paranoid? Or am I being penalized for bing a girl?
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Not gonna lie, I was quite unsure of where you were going with that title. First thing that came to mind was that scene from RvB: Sister: "Seriously, what the -blam!- are girly laps!?" Back to getting on point, it sounds like you're running into the jerks that litter Destiny. There are some decent fireteams out there who care less about who your are, but from time to time you'll find rotten apples. Just try to find a decent group of players or a friend who you can join up and play with comfortably and it'll all go swimmingly from that point onwards.