I know the title may be inflammatory to some, so I'll start by saying I love the destiny community and usually have no issues.
Anytime I raid with a team that's over 50% strangers I always wind up getting kicked. Regardless of my K/d, light, dps or general wipe-causing--blam!-ups I'm always the one kicked.
Am I being paranoid? Or am I being penalized for bing a girl?
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It all depends on the group. For example, there are people that cannot stand others lack of knowledge or not being able to complete the raid under an hour,lol, but their are others who would help despite the situation. I always try and help anyone in my friends list. I don't really care much on light level, the way someone speaks, or even if you speak at all. As long as you know what you are doing if not being able to ask for an explanation then everything is fine.