Here at Startec Labs we decided instead of our usual glorious fan mail, we’d read some of our hate mail for an exciting change of pace. Mrs. Rosalina in New Jersey writes: [i]“Thanks to your “Lil Scientist Chemistry Set” my little Joshua is now serving 5 years in Juvenile detention, and he’s only 12 years old! If you’re not going to help with the legal fees you could at least refund the cost of the set.”[/i] Well in situations like these you need to look at the positive side of things. Joshua will soon learn how to “cook up” all sorts of wondrous chemical compounds from common house hold items. …And no REFUNDS! Next we have a letter from Dirk in Dallas Texas. [i]“How is your A.S.S.H.A.T so eerily accurate? Like common you don’t even play Destiny BRO! So why do you waste your time on this?[/i] Destiny…Sounds like a name of a Stripper or something, can someone look that up for me?...Oh it’s a video game? I see… Well Dirk, we’ve been too busy making exciting scientific inventions like our new “Scrub-A-Way 9000” to mess around with silly video games. But I assure you there is only one reason why we do this, and that’s money! =============================================================================== [quote]“This week at Bungie we retraced some of our steps.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]A fancy way of saying –REDACTED- [quote]“There are times when we get up on Twitch to reveal challenges in your future. Those are definitely fun moments, but we don’t want our channel to remain dark while we work in our secure hangar to move fresh content onto the launching pad.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*:[/b] “Fresh content” means having to find all your old guns again, while you’re least favorite strike is now backwards. [quote]“Just yesterday, with three artists in the hot seat, we delved deeper into some past lives.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]…Yawn…Err is not like we ran out of eccentric/hipster gamer girls to entice you geeks with or something. They just find Luke Smith a little too creepy, and have stopped returning our calls. [quote]“During the live show, we shed new light on artwork that helped shape the world of Destiny. We learned the origins of weapons, destinations, heroes, and more. Did you miss it?”[/quote] [b] *Translation*: [/b]No one showed up to watch our twitch because you guys are all too busy “Working” just like us right? [quote] “Seeing the artistic inception of a game is my favorite thing about working at Bungie. Let me open for you a window into our world.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]Actually the best thing about working at Bungie is the Christmas bonus checks, but you can’t tell people that in public. Otherwise I’d be selling quality used Honda’s or Insurance! [quote]“As promised on the show, you can browse more art from Jesse van Dijk, Joseph Cross, and Adrian Majkrzak. Disclaimer: Much of what you’ll see in these portfolios was never intended to be included in Destiny. Sometimes, art is created simply for the sake of creation.” [/quote] [b] *Translation*:[/b] Just like when we said “If you can see it, you can go there” [quote]“Next week, we’ll be back up on Twitch to enjoy some raiding in King’s Fall. There will be developer commentary. There will be blood!”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] We’ve actually already streamed this theme, but it’s not like any of you watched it the first time. [quote]“Join us in the chat room. We’ll be sure to take a question or three.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b] Otherwise DeeJ’s, regular monthly quota for forum answers. [quote] “Whether it lives on your desktop or in the palm of your hand, the Destiny Companion is your fully operational battle station. It’s your clubhouse, your art gallery, your vault, and your debate hall”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] You enjoy the app more than the game, just admit it. [quote]“Of all the ways you can spend time using the companion, the one activity that will have the single greatest impact on your player experience is finding new allies to back you up in combat.”[/quote] [quote]*Translation*:[/quote] Just our little reminder that “you have no friends, because you’re no fun” [quote]“No matter if your enemies are Guardians or aliens, we believe that Destiny is more fun with someone watching your back.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] #Foreveralone = You! [quote]“The #Recruitment forum is always there for you to solicit allies, but it’s traditionally been a chaotic wall of potential Fireteams. We’ve had some ideas for how that could work better, and we’ve been executing on them. Very soon, we’ll be enhancing our forum with new ways to form up and roll out into the Solar System.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] Look at all the effort we’ve put into making the app easier to use, while you spend hours searching for “friends” that still want to be your friend after they learn you don’t have max light level, or your voice can shatter glass. Still beats good old regular matchmaking right? [quote] “You’ll find these features on any device you use to access the Destiny Companion. Depicted below is a preview of how iOS devices will display Fireteams in search of Guardians. At a glance, these invitations to battle are marked by platform, activity, and availability.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] Still pretty much the forums… But it’s not like Microsoft own the rights to our matchmaking algorithms which helped Bungie rise to stardom with Halo or something. Or do they? [quote]“Have a very specific craving for carnage? You’ll be able to sort the forum to display only the invitations that suit your thirst for action. Choose your ideal adventure from a suite of dropdown menus to see who also wants to embark on that specific mission.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]So much easier then typing “Must have gone flawless in Trials at least 10x” [quote]“Once the call to arms has been issued, sit back and watch your roster grow in real time. Of course, it will be up to you to make the in-game connections needed to form up in a smart looking formation in orbit over your destination. Fortunately, every user of these features will have a profile linked to an active Guardian in good standing.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]Or peeps without a Gally…Oh wait is that joke too old, or too soon? [quote]“What you see here is coming soon to #Recruitment, as well as your own personal Clan forum – assuming you’ve joined one. If you have not hunkered down as a member of a Clan, using these tools just might introduce you to some fellow founding Overlords. It’s dangerous to go alone. Never lament those microphoneless randos again.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]Yeah it’s your fault that you’re both “friendless” and “microphoneless”. It’s completely not ours, with the poor game design that has a complete lack of ability to socially interact with people at the tower, other than dancing…Have you bought some new dance moves yet? ============================================================================== Ok we have time for one last letter folks. Paul from Winnipeg Canada asks. [i]“I’ve heard that you guys invented a freaking time portal! So why haven’t you guys gone back in time and killed Hitler yet? IMHO that makes you either just as guilty as him, or completely lazy and incompetent.”[/i] I don’t know why people keep bringing up the time portal as it’s easily our most disappointing invention of all time! But to answer your question Paul. Unlike what movies will have you believe the Space Time Continuum is surprisingly strong and robust, it’s almost impossible to break. We know as we’ve tried to break it on purpose on several occasions to see what would happen , yet somehow it works itself out every time. Just think about this for a second Paul, if we had the ability to drastically alter the past would I be here answering your questions, or would I be off somewhere living as a King on my own tropical island? Well Folks that’s all for this week, we hope to see you again next time.