Alright you sniveling sacks of awkwardness, I've seen too many damn posts asking how to handle talking to the opposite (or same) sex in the hopes that you don't screw it all up and end up embarrassed as a zit on photo day with your tail between your legs, so this is your official go-to guide to land that significant other you have your eye on. Get comfy, maggots. First thing's first. Consider NOBODY to be out of your league. Your confidence is your absolute BEST friend during initial contact. But what gets you past that is the inherent good in you and your capacity to be an understanding listener and a person who can give sound opinions and considerate responses in conversation, even advice if it's warranted. We'll touch on that more in a bit. Next, if you have orange fingers, cheeto crumbs on your chin and a toothpaste stain on your shirt, get the hell back into that bathroom and make yourself presentable. Iron your clothes, keep your breath fresh and your pores clean. I'm not saying looks are everything, but anyone that respects themselves will not find you appealing if you smell like you rolled out of an nyc dumpster with a vodka hangover and a McDonald's wrapper stuck to your ass, ya bumb. Hygiene is essential. Yes, sometimes looks are superficial, especially if your crush is more interested in an emotional connection and they don't have a type or they aren't judgemental, but how will you ever know if you can't get within 20 feet of them because you smell like butt stank, genius... If you can't take care of yourself, how can they expect you to care for them any better? Exactly. Next, do not let rejection EVER define what you think of yourself personally. EVER. EVER. EVER. FŮCKING EVER. [spoiler]EVER!!!!!!![/spoiler] Just the same way that you may not be your crush's type, they may not be someone else's type either. And that person might be uglier than you. Keep that in mind. You are only as ugly as you let your self esteem dictate your confidence. This is essential. It is paramount that you remind yourself that you deserve what you want and that you're worth it to someone else. Do not let yourself be defeated before you step out the door. Because your crush will miss out on somebody great and it'll be your own fault. Resolve to show them you're worth it. And follow through on this promise to yourself. Alright, got all that? Good. Time for your first encounter. Now... Briefly, before you talk to them, there's some key things to remember. That beautiful girl or guy you like? They could very well be every bit as insecure and shy as you are. (yup.) News flash, fůcko, we're not all experts at first encounters so don't imagine that they would necessarily be either. They may not have all the right things to say and you approaching them is a very sudden thing to react to. Even if you've been thinking about doing this for quite some time. This leaves settling the vibe down into a comfortable zone in YOUR hands, Casanova. So be calm. Be yourself. Expect a little awkwardness, it's normal. And even try to reassure them that you know it's a little sudden for them. Your consideration will strike them as a very mature thing and that can be like 80% of the battle right there. There are easy ways around dealing with the rush of adrenaline of walking up to someone and trying to talk to them. And considering that they'll be a little nervous too will help you be prepared for variables in conversation. Edit : [i]Important >[/i] *When you know what to expect, you can preemptively prepare your mind with how to react in an awkward situation. Knowing this is a massive boost in confidence. So you can focus on what you want to say rather than tripping over your own jittery bullshit. There's always a way to land on your feet as long as you're not distracted by nervousness. So think of how you want to express yourself first instead of pumping yourself up and charging in without reservation. Balance your confidence and your ability to be articulate. Calm and collective. Easy does it, killer. Another way? Just talk to them like they're human. *gasp* ikr... Who'da thunk... Yup. Just talk like they're one of your friends that you already know. You're comfortable around your friends right? Same as your crush is comfortable around their own friends. If your crush is a good and grounded, sensitive, relationship type of person, then it'll be even more appreciated that you're not drowning them in your emotional desires, so don't get ahead of yourself, Don Juan. There's no rush. And that's something they'd appreciate knowing too. In my own personal experience, when an amazingly beautiful woman walks in and I'm around all the guys, i notice that the fellas all get silent because they freeze up when the most gorgeous thing they've ever seen walks in the room. They get intimidated. Suddenly men turn to boys and everybody's self conscious. But did you ever stop to think about what that drop dead gorgeous person is feeling when everybody gets silent all of a sudden? Well you guessed it. They get insecure too. They get shy and quiet themselves often. But what if.... YOU were the one that actually talked to them like they weren't just a juicy piece of filet mignon? What if you were the only person in a long time that talked to them like they were human? Pretty sure you would actually be the one that stands out amongst all the transparency of other typical people. Hence the reason you should never be intimidated by beauty, ever. And lastly, romeos and julietteses, in that actual first conversation when they do start to talk about their lives and their ambitions, their family and friends, or trials and tribulations, you let them talk. If you're not sure what you should be saying? Then you should be asking questions. It shows your interest in them as a person and this is encouraging to them. The more you understand about who they are morally, the better you will know how to respond. What you need is info. Things you can personally relate to. This way when you sympathize with them, they will know you're on the same level as they are too. This is the kind of thing that makes your crush see promise in you. Be calm. Be confident. Have self worth. Don't let rejection define your self esteem. Be understanding. Reassuring. Actually give a damn what they say. And don't rush romance. Let it happen naturally. If you do all these things and they still don't work? You can safely say they never deserved you in the first place and move on with the confidence that someone else will. And your old crush may even wonder why they said no in the first place when they see you happy with someone else. Now go get em, tiger. Or tigress. Whatever. Good luck. [spoiler] And the lyrics to the inspirational song up top, which is amusingly entitled: "Meow! Meow! Space Tiger" By Rx Bandits Ps - Wait for it. Lyrics: You can find a lover and mold her out of clay. You can build a reason to justify anything You can find your own way home Walking down that lonesome road I know one Yeah I know one You know they... Said I won't, but you know I can You know I can You know I can If you lost your love You will find your truth You'll find your truth When it comes for you ~ You can find an ocean to fill with tears Remembering the moment that we succumbed to our fears You can build a masterpiece All grace and symmetry And move on We got to move on You know they Said I won't but you know I can You know I can You know I can If you lost your love Then you'll find your truth You'll find your truth When it comes for you We all searching for a reason to make sense of this life Said the fool when he discovered something true "Look outside, look outside." Woah my Woah my She's not coming She's not coming She's not coming Woah my she's not coming she's not coming she's not coming You know said Said I won't but you know I can You know I can You know I can If you lost your love You will find your truth You'll find your truth when it comes for you Woah my Woah my She's not coming home She's not coming home She's not coming home, i said Woah my Woah my She's not coming home She's not coming home She's not coming home I know why... [/spoiler]