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originally posted in: Straight up, RIP strikers
6/30/2016 6:04:05 PM
4
What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOKGLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADYWHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE!YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILLMASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS!DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKSAND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHITAND MURDERING THEM WITH YOURENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACEAND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOUKNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUTBEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM!EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOATHAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILYFIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TOTAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OFTEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES!!!
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