We all know that women find gay men to be hot. So you'll walk up and introduce yourself and hint at the fact that your gay. BOOM now you're instantly more attractive to her and you've been accepted into her group. Congrats you're the hot gay friend.
Now you just gotta play it off and be all nice to her. Be a shoulder to cry on and all that crap. Now you are no longer just a hot gay friend but now you are her best friend and her feelings for you will grow and develop, but she won't try to ask you out because she respects your feelings towards men. But shocker you're not really gay, you've been straight all along.
At this point she is putty in your hands, she is the prey and you are the hunter. All you've gotta do is go in for the kill. Toast envelope that "respectable" woman and you've won. You are no longer a virgin loser but now you're a poontang slayer!
That's all there is to it.
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Another good way could be to call yourself fartmonkey...