Welcome to the rebirth of the Unofficial Weekly Update! While you wait for the official update to drop, here is a little something to sink your teeth into! Today's poll: What is the best PvE class? While searching for an interview, I decided that the best option would be to hit one of the new guys. I did some asking around, and was turned down by the first few that were asked, but after a long negotiation process, I was finally able to secure- MAAAAAAAAAX!!!! [b]No...~groan~[/b] OHMIGOD!! I am like, soooo happy to see you again!! I heard you were back when my friend Sepiks called me on the phone and I was all like, SHUT UP, and he was like, yup, he's back and I was all NO WAY and he was like true story. But then he was all rude and got all pissy because I didn't call him perfected or something, but whatever that's just who he is to me. Anyway I am just SO HAPPY to see you again! Hey so- [b]...what are you doing here Omnigul...[/b] Your assistant let me in! [b]Honestly, I don't understand why they keep letting you in. I'm supposed to interview Aksis, so...you need to go. Like, now. Please.[/b] Who? [b]Aksis. You know, the new raid boss?[/b] Oh him? Meh. He can wait. So like, why didn't you call me to let me know you were back? I was so worried when you didn't show up again and I was talking to Deathsinger and I was all like, “What if he is dead,” and she was all, “What if...” and I got all sad because you might have been dead and I don't like sad stuff. You could have called, why didn't you call?! [b]Because you're completely crazy and you have an unhealthy obsession with me that makes me uncomfortable in too many ways to count? [/b] Oh Max you are sooo funny! I miss that. Seriously, why didn't you call?? [b]I...well I just told you, so...there you go.[/b] Did you die?! [b]...I...yes, Omnigul. I died. And came back from the dead.[/b] Okay FINE don't tell me you meanie hahaha! You better not have been seeing any of those skanks while you were gone because I'll know! [b]Omnigul...you know I got married right? [/b] And? [b]Look, we just aren't compatible, like...at all. You're all spikey and armored-[/b] That comes off you know, you want to see? [b]NOOOOOOPE. No. No, no, no. Look you have to go Omnigul-[/b] Are you sure, because you know I'm totally down to- [b]Yes I'm completely sure. Please don't. Ever. [/b] ~sniff~ [b]W..what is that? Are you...uh... ~sigh~ What's wrong?[/b] I knew it was too good to be true Max...I just knew it! I just wanted to be with you forever and you went and left without saying anything or calling, and then you go and marry some other girl and I've been here getting bullied by Guardians for the last two weeks and I have been so sad, like you have no idea... [b]I actually got married before I left. You knew this...and bullied by Guardians?[/b] Yes! They have been targeting me lately like I'm some kind of dumpster for their bullets. It was a party and all, but I can't be shot anymore, I just can't...The HiveNet dropped my show, Crota won't talk to me, and Deathsinger is all into some wierdo named Alak-Hul so she barely has any time for me, and I'm just so lonely and sad and I thought that maybe you would be happy to see me because I knew at least you wouldn't try to kill me but instead you break my heart and...and...~uncontrolled sobbing~ [b]Because I didn't want to see you naked?! Look, they just wanted to get more powerful, you know...boost their levels a bit...[/b] So that's all I'm good for?! Something to be used for personal gain?! ~hysterical crying~ I knew it! You are all just using me! [b]Christ...I uh...I'm sorry that's not what I meant...[/b] YOU ALL HATE ME!! YOU ALL JUST WANT TO SHOOT ME BECAUSE YOU HATE ME SO MUCH ~thrashing about in the room, breaking things, then slumps on the floor~ [b]No that isn't it at all...we uh...well you know how we Guardians are. We like to shoot things because that's how...we...show you...how much we think of you. Yeah. So really, all of those Guardians were just trying to show you how much they like you...? Uhh, think about it this way: they could have gone to any other strike to do that, but instead they came to you, because YOU were the best of the best! [/b] ~sniff~ You think so? [b]...Absolutely, sure...[/b] ~Springs up~ OH MAX!!! You really are the best! I knew there was a reason they were all coming to see me! You, like, always know the right things to say and that's why I l- [b]Easy now. Look, I really need to do this interview...buuut he's probably already gone now. Thanks for that...[/b] Now you can interview ME again! [b]You hijacked the interview, threw a temper tantrum, cost me the raid boss sit down and now you want me to interview you? Really?[/b] Great question Max! Hmmm, I'd have to say that answer is YES! [b]The answer is no.[/b] Maaaax, you know you want to! I'm the most famous character you have, and your readers want more of ME! We can be a team! OMIGOD! Max and Omnigul, interviewers extraordinary! [b]Extraordinaires...?[/b] That's it! We can talk to people, and get all of the latest gossip and then the HiveNet will pick my show back up and then you can dump your wife and marry me and we can have a baby and...like, WOW. I am totally loving this idea! We- [b]Whooooaaa....okay no more! We're done here. Jesus Christ why do you do this to me?! Get my damn assistant in here and FIRE him! Get her out of here! I want Guardians posted at the doors to keep her out!![/b] MAAAAAAAAAX!!!! That was...certainly harrowing. I really didn't want to have to do that this soon... Xur showed up at the Tower last week bringing with him the mighty MIDA Multi-Tool. The gun is perhaps the single best scout rifle in PvP, and a solid top tier for PvE. Hopefully you bought one. Gotta stay meta and all that jazz. For Titans he brought the Amamentarium (for those that like two grenades and extra ammo), Warlocks got the Voidfang Vestments (Make those Axion Bolt more gooder) and Hunters got a kick in the nuts. Just kidding. They got the Sealed Ahamkara Grasps, which make them more punchy and give them a possibility for speed reloads. Really, I think a kick in the nuts might have been better. Iron Banner is in full swing this week. Hosted by the lazily introduced Lady Efrideet, the game type is Supremacy, so let's hope you are good at not only killing folks, but picking up the Light guts they leave behind. Meta appears to be the Invective, Party-Crasher and and the feared Matador. There's also some weirdos using primaries and occasionally, there are those that take to the hurling about of rockets. While many are happy to see the event come back, as always, it isn't without it's detractors. “IB is just a shotty jerk fest again,” one commentor was seen to say. “So, I guess lag + Matador = win right?” said another. “Metador-64” was a name lovingly bestowed by a fellow clan member. One forumite expressed their frustrations by saying, “If the object is to pick up the crests, why don't you pick up the crests?!” Not to be deterred, one clever forumite deicded the best way to win was not to pick up the crests, but snatch up all of the special crates, because “you'd be surprised at how bad a team does when you cancel out their shotguns.” It isn't all horrible though, the Iron Banner gear is dropping at tiered light levels, and the weapons are pretty great. Get in there and lagfrag Guardian! There has been a lot of tension lately over Silver Dust. Frustrations are rising due to the fact that Silver Dust can only be achieved either by dismantling ornaments, or getting them from Silver Chests. The issue is that players can only get one Radiant Treasure a week per account for free, and the rest have to be purchased with money. “It's only cosmetic, who cares?!” one player was quoted as saying. Another reached out to Bungie saying, “Bungie, we need better paths to get Radiant Treasures!” The popular solution seems to be allowing Radiant Treasure to drop once per character on an account, as opposed to once per account. What do you think? The Destiny servers have gone down a couple of times in recent days, causing complete panic and pandemonium on the forums. During these dark times, players were forced to play other games, read books, go outside or engage in humanly behavior that did not involve shooting someone to death with a shotgun in the Iron Banner. Bungie has been pretty swift at getting things back up and going again, so at least there is that. “My one day off and your shit servers don't work” one commentor said in a post on Reddit. That's all we have time for this week Guardians! Thanks you as always for reading, and remember to keep the guns piping hot and those Strange Coins handy! I'll see you in the Wild!