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originally posted in:The New Dojo
11/16/2016 6:08:15 PM
1
[i]Pan shrugs.[/i]
"He's my best friend and seems to know what's best for me and he protects me and...he's all I had when I lost my memory."
English
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"Pan... Don't. I can't stop you, but that'll kill you, and..." [b]I clench my fist. A tear runs down my cheek.[/b] "And DAMMIT I don't want to lose another daughter!"
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[i]Pan doesn't answer until she walks out the door. Her voice is just loud enough to hear.[/i] "Now you've lost two...."
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[b]I walk out after her.[/b] "What do you mean?"
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[i]Pan walks in silence. Tears that fall from her face and onto the ground leave a burn mark on the floor.[/i]
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"Pan, what's wrong?"
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[i]Pan doesn't look back as she waves her hand and a wall of pure red fire barely misses Grant.[/i]
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[b]Like fire would even scratch NCR Ranger Combat Armor. I walk right through the flames.[/b] "Tell me what's wrong."
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[i]Pan turns around and weakly shoves Grant. From her face you can tell she's extremely upset and not in control of her emotions.[/i] "Go away! I don't need help! I need family and friends!...love....Instead all I get is a bunch of people saying I shouldn't be me! I shouldn't use the powers I've been given!"
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"Kiddo... If I didn't love you then why would I try to save your life? I already said I can't stop you. There's no reason for you to leave like this. That thing where I said I'd find someone else to was a threat, nothing more. I just... I'm really scared, ya know? About what would happen to me if either you or Elvis dropped dead. I'd probably lose my shit."
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"If you loved me you'd accept me for who I am. I am chaos now. I can't help what I am." [i]Pan calms down slightly.[/i]
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"Dammit... Well then... If you're Chaos then I guess I fûcking love Chaos." [b]I reach over and give her a hug, more for my comfort than hers.[/b]
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[i]Pan doesn't hug back immediatley, but instead rests her head on you.[/i] "I don't want to be chaos, but it is what I am now. I have to live with that because there's no way of stopping it. I'm going to die, father....And I don't want to die." [i]She hugs back.[/i]
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"I'm going to find a way. I'll be damned if I don't."
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"Father, don't waste your time, go be with Elvis. You can actually have fun with her and watch her grow up. I'm sorry to disapoint you, father."
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[b]I hug her tighter.[/b] "Pan, if you think you're disappointing me by dying, then you don't know me. You've done nothing but good in my life. I'm gonna try my goddamned hardest to save yours."
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[i]Pan hug loosens.[/i] "I just don't want you to get hurt when the time comes."
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[b]I sigh.[/b] "Then let me have this right now. Just you. And me. A family. Let's just spend some time together now. Maybe I can get Elvis here too."
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[i]Pan tightens ger hug.[/i] "I'd like that, father."
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[b]I sigh again, just taking in what's going to happen. If she was gonna die... I was gonna be the best goddamn dad on the planet. I just stand there for a second, embracing the kid.[/b]
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[i]Pan's mind has feelings of doubt, guilt, loneliness, anger, and sadness floating around. Her mind was quickly becoming consumed and she had no hope or fight left in her to stop it. [/i]
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"Pan... I just want you to know... I'm gonna be here for you. Until the end. Be it mine or yours, and I hope to God that it's mine. If my God is a merciful one, he'll at least grant us a day or two of rest."
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[i]Pan nods, her voice quiet.[/i] "I hope so."
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"And do you wanna know what, Pan? I already know he's a merciful God. Come on, let's go back to my room and just... Take a break from all the world's bullshit. Sound good?"
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[i]Pan once again nods and ends the hug.[/i] "Okay, father."
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[b]I start walking back to the room.[/b]
