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11/16/2016 12:23:09 AM
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So I wrote a song.

Let's get right into it shall we? My girlfriend and I have been dating nearly two years now, and for the anniversary, she's all but begged me to write a song for her. So, hesitantly I agreed. Well, three weeks in and I'm just finishing up, and I was hoping some of you lovelies here could tell me if the song itself is okay? While I'm nerveous about doing this, I'm far more nerveous about looking stupid in front of the girl I love. I am well aware I can't sing, and I'm fairly new to the ukulele, but any feedback whatsoever would be very much appreciated. Much love to all of you who veiw this post. :) -------------------- Lyrics: I always love the way she looks All the way, every step she took The way she stole my heart away from me. I'll always be a lost boy never set free From dreams, of you and me. Well Listen now, Such a beautiful sound Well Look around Just look around . I could see it now That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work ever day through sun and rain Till I can afford it. Cause I want to bring you the mountains The sky and the sea. I'd give you my all, If you'd just lie  next to me. Well Listen now, Such a beautiful sound Well Look around Just look around . I could see it now That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work ever day through sun and rain Till I can afford it. I could see it now That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work ever day through sun and rain Till I can afford it. I promise I'll find a way to afford it. ----------------------- Once again, any feedback, good, or horrid would be so unbelievably appreciated. <3

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  • Edited by Lord Sicarius: 11/16/2016 7:35:41 PM
    Here's my re-written version of your song [quote]Dude, just listened to your actual song, and two things: 1. You actually have a good voice 2. We have the same name, only mine is spelled with a "i" instead of a "y". Anyways, here's my re-written version of your song. I named it "A Little White House": A Little White House Verse 1: I will always love your sweet face Your glowing smile, your tender gaze The way you stole my heart away Baby now I'm here to stay In love with you I'll always be A young boy soaring and flying free With dreams of you, and you with me. Oh how I want you desperately Pre-Chorus: I'd give anything to have you I promise that this much is true The sun and the moon The shimmering stars Nothing compares to who you are Chorus: That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work every day Till I can afford it Through the sun and the rain Throughout all of the pain I've made up my mind And my mind doesn't change Cause I want to bring you the mountains The sky and the sea I'd give you my all, just so you could lie next to me. I can see it now That little white house Don't ask me how It all will work out I promise you one day Our little white house One day we'll have That little white house Verse 2: Please don't be upset now Wipe away all your tears We'll be fine, we'll make it through As long as I can keep you near I know at times it is tough Dealing with me can be rough But please darling just hold on I want for you to be strong Pre-Chorus: I'd give anything to have you I promise that this much is true The sun and the moon The shimmering stars Nothing compares to who you are Chorus: That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work every day Till I can afford it Through the sun and the rain Throughout all of the pain I've made up my mind And my mind doesn't change Cause I want to bring you the mountains The sky and the sea I'd give you my all, just so you could lie next to me. I can see it now That little white house Don't ask me how It all will work out I promise you one day Our little white house One day we'll have That little white house Bridge: I'll be saving for our future And for whatever tomorrow brings I want to be with you forever That's why I choose to sing It might seem it's out of our reach It may feel so far away I never will accept defeat That's why I choose to say Chorus: That little white house Oh how you adored it I'll work every day Till I can afford it Through the sun and the rain Throughout all of the pain I've made up my mind And my mind doesn't change Cause I want to bring you the mountains The sky and the sea I'd give you my all, just so you could lie next to me. I can see it now That little white house Don't ask me how It all will work out I promise you one day Our little white house One day we'll have That little white house (I used your same words, just changed them around a bit and added a few of my own.)[/quote]

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