originally posted in:The New Dojo
"You've said Flapyap like ten times. I just made the connection."
English
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"You smart! Kee-ree is smart friend! Almost smart as Flapyap!" He waddles in a happy little circle.
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"Really now? And how smart is Flapyap? What is two plus two?"
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"Two plus two?" He stares blankly for a moment. "What is... Ploos? Flapyap not know monkey talk lots." [spoiler]He calls humans monkeys.[/spoiler]
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"Let's try this again. How smart is Flapyap?"
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"Flqpyap very smart! Great Ungoy cheef-tans say so! He only one smart enough to find great food nipple!"
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"The Great Food Nipple? What on God's green Tatakai is that?"
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"It like normal food nipple, but great! It the source of all Ungoy strength! Flapyap sent by Ungoy god of gas, Farpy the magnificent, to find and bring home. Then Ungoy home be all good again!"
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[spoiler]*unggoy[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]oops[/spoiler]
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"What's a food nipple in the first place? I mean, it's obviously where you guys get food, but what is it?"
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Flapyap reaches into a pouch and pulls out a sci-fi baby bottle filled with a strange fluid. "This is food nipple, the greatest gift Ungoy have."
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"So it's like a baby bottle. How old are you, Flapyap?"
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"Flapyap is 19 standard cycles old!" He reports happily.
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"I'll assume that means 19 years. Wait, you're 19 and still feeding from baby bottles?"
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"Not baby bottles, food nipples! They very nutritious to Ungoy. Try some?" He offers her the bottle. [spoiler]I have no idea if it's safe for human consumption.[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]Lol they are don't worry. One of the Halo books says so.[/spoiler] "Sure. What's the worst that could happen?" [b]She takes the bottle slowly, and takes a small drink from it.[/b]
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Flapyap watches expectantly.
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"It's... It's different. Not something I'm used to."
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"But good, yes?"
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"I guess I could say that."
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"Yes, yes! Food Nipple taste very good!" He takes it back and begins to drink it through a slot in his mask.
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"Hey, why do you wear that mask?"
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"Flapyap need mask to breath. Unggoy no breath oxy... Oxo... Oxy-geen." He replies, pulling the bottle from his mouth. The mask hisses for a second before sealing, leaving the faint scent of methane.
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"Oh. You breathe methane, don't you? That's different. I've only met things that breathe oxygen. Oh, would that be a tank on your back, then?"
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"Yes, yes. All Unggoy breath the great gas. Mean Prophets not let us have new planet, so Unggoy live on breeding ships. Not nice." He sighs.