originally posted in:The New Dojo
"Heh.....you know, I thought I could.....ah hell, what am I doing?"
He said, tiredly
"Maybe you're made of sterner stuff than I am....but it only took two years to get too far for me....."
English
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"Too far was the day it happened. I don't know where I am now." [i]He said rather harshly, though it wasn't directed at Alpha.[/i]
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"Why did it happen?" he said gingerly......he wanted to help out some, seeing as wolfe and wilson had helped him in the past
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"If you haven't learned it yet, kid, listen and listen good. Once you no longer serve someone's interest, they'll cut you loose. They'll gut you with a smile." [i]He said.[/i]
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"Hopefully I still serve yours." He said, with an Ironic smile
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"Lucky for you, I haven't drowned my morality." [i]He said, downing the shot, and leaning forwards over the bar.[/i]
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"Staying with that psychotic mailman might just do it" He said, an a laughing manner, though the mood was serious he didn't mind a light jest
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"Mailmen know better than to mess with dogs." [i]He said, clearly not in the mood for jokes.[/i]
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"Noted" He said, taking a sip of his drink "You know..........it's odd. killing......we've been on both ends, know what its like to pull the trigger or have the trigger pulled on us....."
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"Not odd. That's how this works. You live by the gun, you die by the gun. Nothing unusual about being leader of the pack one day, and taking a bullet the next." [i]He said coldly.[/i]
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"I find it so. Maybe that's because I'm trying to hang up my rifle and move on."
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"You'll never move on, Alpha. None of us ever do. There's always that lingering thought in the back of your head, you never can escape it. You just get better at silencing it." [i]He said.[/i]
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"I'll be damned if I settle for that, at least I try" He sighed "I thought you were the devil himself at first.......Now, hell, I think you're like me. the only difference is the alcohol"
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"The devil started out as a fallen angel. I just haven't hit the ground yet." [i]He said, looking to the dog tags around his neck. [/i]
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"No, you started out like me, a scared kid watching everything he loved go down" He said "I might be young, Naive, but dammit, I'm not an idiot"
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[i]Wolfe looked to him, a cold hatred in his eyes, followed by a sadness that could be felt. [/i] "Don't." [i]He said, very clearly a warning. He was not going there.[/i]
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Alpha didn't care "Dammit, I'm trying to help you, whether you want it or not." He rubbed his face with the back of a hand "Look.....the hardass attitude? I get it. I get the whole kill-or-be-killed attitude. I've been there."
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"You want to help, then? Leave me alone." [i]He said, half a smirk on his lips[/i]
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"November 2nd, two years ago......March 6th, one year ago. June 27th, one year ago. October 9th, one year ago. and July 30th, five months ago. December 18th, today" he said, rattling off something. "Funny, all of the other times that was me.....till today"
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"Look kid, I don't need your help. I don't want to talk, and I really don't feel like explaining myself to you of all people." [i]He said, looking back towards the bar's liquor shelf.[/i]
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"Hmph. I see." he took a sip of his drink, and sighed "Besides the teenage edgy shit, why me out of all people may I ask?"
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"Because you're no different from anyone else. Nobody else needs to be involved either. My problems are mine and mine alone." [i]He said.[/i]
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"So long as you deal with them." he said quietly, under his breath as he took out the journal again, opening it up to a blue-trimmed section
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"Well so far, I'm doing better than you. I'm not on the sh*tlist of a galactic republic." [i]He said sharply, knowing full-well of Alpha's exploits.[/i]
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"I'm not the one drowning in booze" he said tiredly
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"So drinking a couple of shots one day makes me drowning? I think you need to reevaluate what drowning is." [i]He replied.[/i]