originally posted in:The New Dojo
"Raman Ginger and tossed the three?" Deity said. He was making absolutely no sense, but he looked at Zane in confusion as well...
Zane read the bottle, which was labeled,
[i]"Holy F[u]u[/u]ck!"[/i]
English
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"Oh.....No wonder, it's the mother of [i]Holy Shit[/i]....." He passed the ale to deity, allowing him to drink as well as he drunk more [i]Holy Fûck[/i].
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Deity took another sip, and his eyes went cross eyed as he stood up from his chair and began to wobble around. "I...need...CANDY."
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His eyes went wide as he got up. "Mira has candy! And other kinds of sweets! Let go!" He wobbles as he grabbed his buster sword, nearly dropping it.
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"HA! CANDY!" Deity yelled. Suddenly Tesuto came bolting around a corner. "Did someone say...[i]candy?![/i]" the Samurai asked. Deity picked up his sword and pointed it at Tesuto. "BENJAMIN FRANKLIN LOOK. ITS A COMMIE!"
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[spoiler]death is a preferable alternative to communism [/spoiler]
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"Kill it with fire!!!!" He drew his .44 and fired a shot, missing horribly.
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"THATS A BULLET NOT FIRE!" Deity said. Tesuto sprinted away. "HE'S GETTING AWAY! GET EM!" Deity wobbled after Tesuto, and fell straight on his face, hitting a waitress and into a table, breaking the table in half and leaving Deity on the ground. "ITS A BOOBY TRAP."
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He burst out laughing, nearly falling to the ground. "Get up, we gotta go after him!"
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"UGH. OKAY." Deity got up from the table and stumbled towards the doorway. "WE HAVE TO...MOVE! TO THE SHIP. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"
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"What ship?'l He opened the door to his house, and fell on the floor with a crash. Mira came running down the stairs to investigate. "[i]What the hell?![/i]"
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"UHURA!" Deity called Mira. "GET TO YOUR STATION! WE NEED TO GO TO CANDYLAND."
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"[i]Candyland? Oh....How much have you two had to drink?[/i]" "Whaaaat? We ain't drunk, right deity?!"
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"COMMANDER SPOCK! TO YOU'RE STATION!" Deity said, ignoring the question as he stumbled into the living room.
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"Ay Ay!" Zane hopped up and leapt onto the couch, then grabbed the remote and started swinging it like a sword. "Hey Deity, call Anne and get her over here!" Mira sighed as the two as she went back upstairs, not even trying to get involved.
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"AH! YES! CHAPEL!" Deity exclaimed, sitting on a chair like a tipsy captain. He got his phone and made "beep boop" noises whenever he pressed a button. He raised the phone to his ear. "CHAPEL! WE NEED YOU ON THE ENTERPRISE! GET OVER HERE!" Deity threw the phone, and it crashed through the living room wall and made a hole. "ASTEROIDS!"
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"Bro....That was my wall, you gotta pay for that." He busted out laughing, falling to the floor.
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"I DID NOT DO THAT!" Deity screamed. "It was the ASTEROID! OH NO! THERE IS ONE COMING RIGHT FOR US!" Deity flung himself off the couch and onto the floor, and passed out.
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Zane somehow made it upstairs and crawled into his bed, and passed out as well.