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5/30/2017 12:47:56 AM
14
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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
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1 ReplyAZLyrics.com Email Print "White & Nerdy" lyrics Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics Play "White & Nerdy" on Amazon Music "White & Nerdy" They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! I wanna roll with- The gangsters But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Really, really white n' nerdy First in my class here at M.I.T. Got skills, I'm a Champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40 I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find that they're quite stationary All of my action figures are cherry Stephen Hawking's in my library My MySpace page is all totally pimped out Got people begging for my top 8 spaces Yo I know Pi to a thousand places Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed, my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze There's no killer app I haven't run At Pascal, well, I'm number 1 Do vector calculus just for fun I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun "Happy Days" is my favourite theme song I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon Here's the part I sing on They see me roll on, my Segway! I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy! Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy I'd like to roll with- The gangsters Although it's apparent I'm too White n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin' X-men comics you know I collect 'em The pens in my pocket I must protect 'em my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia I memorized "Holy Grail" really well I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL I got a business doing web sites When my friends need some code who do they call? I do HTML for them all Even made a homepage for my dog! Yo! Got myself a fanny pack they were having a sale down at the GAP Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky! I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? Spend every weekend at the renaissance fair Got my name on my underwear! They see me strollin' They laughin' And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy All because I'm white n' nerdy Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy I wanna bowl with- the gangsters but oh well it's obvious I'm white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
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Weird Al is better than the five songs that always play on my normie sister's radio
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2 RepliesEdited by FoodMonger52: 5/30/2017 4:14:12 PMJebediah, thou dost have the sickest of moves!
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1 ReplyHey. Guess what: [spoiler]Video games![/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI'm going the jam that song as I play Far Cry 5
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1 Reply
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How can one man be so perfect? Long live Yankovic.
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3 RepliesEdited by Satanic Mechanic: 5/30/2017 1:23:54 AM*clap clap clap...
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Weird Al is a great person.
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1 ReplyBest! Rap! Song! Ever!
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1 ReplyI just needed to read the first line to know that it was Amish Paradise by Weird Al. [spoiler][b][i][u]KUPO!!!™[/u][/i][/b][/spoiler]
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1 ReplyThe Amish are secretly just a science experiment. The question: Is inbreeding or malnutrition more detrimental to human health?
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As soon as I read valley I knew it was Amish paradise
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This made my life better. Thanks.
