It is the awkwardness of the situation. Exactly why I (female) only play with my twin sister. Like your wife, we both have serious anxiety and stress about playing with strangers. The very first time I tried a Strike in D1, I got a message saying "you are the worst ever." I responded back and said, I had no idea what to do or what was going to happen. He or she did come back and say its all good...but getting that message made me feel bad (I mean it wasnt the end of the world because I am prolly old enough to be the kids mother, but still) :-). We are not the best players, we used to run through Night Falls Strikes just because it wasnt matchmaking and some days we would die 10 times, but we didnt care because we had no one depending on us to get it done (super stressful). Yes its nice to finish something, but some fireteams out there can sure suck the fun out of the way we like to play. Oh and one more thing...I also found that if you have your own terms for items or supers, that is sometimes frowned upon as well. Example: blue ball, purple ball, walrock "sparkles", little monsters, yellow monsters, gun, hat, sleeves, pants etc. :-) Glad there are so many people like us out there.
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The truth of the matter is, there will always be people that measure their life achievements by their successes in video games. Sad but true. Like the bone head that sent you that message. The good news is, for every one of them, there are 10 that love to share the experience with strangers. just kicking back, shooting and blowing stuff up with out really hurting anyone. Don't judge us all by the actions of a few bone heads.
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Could not agree more. My wife loves the game, grinds really hard to get all the good stuff. She really loves stuff like the nightfalls and raids and she is no worse than most players i've played with. She just likes to have fun.