originally posted in:The New Dojo
[b]And then promptly there was a gunshot, and presumably a giant hole where one of the men's faces used to be. And there... Standing behind the woman... Was our good pal the Vampire Hunter, a smoking gun in his hand, and a massive smile on his face. Well, what they could see of his face. Which was just the smile and his blue, fiery eyes. He's wearing his normal, black attire. Boots, pants, an overcoat, gloves, and a wide-brimmed hat. He laughs heartily.[/b]
"OH MY FUСKING LORD HE POPPED LIKE A BALLOON! LIKE DID YOU SEE THAT?! HIS HEAD WAS LIKE A WATERMELON HOLY SHIT!"
[b]The Vampire Hunter laughs and laughs and laughs, before surveying his own carnage.[/b]
"Shit. Not supposed to kill normal people. I'll fix it later. Somebody just leave that there! I can fix him up, it might just take a while!"
English
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The woman covered her ears from the pain of the unexpected loud noise behind her and fell to her knees. The group of men still alive ran like hell, not stopping to say or do anything, just run. After a moment of collecting herself the woman spoke, her tone both angry and excited in a strange combination. "The hell? Did you just shoot that guy in the head?!"
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"Yeah. Pretty sweet, right? Just-" [b]He laughs again, and wipes a tear from his eye.[/b] "Don't worry. He won't stay dead for more than like a week if I don't forget. Maybe a little longer. Eh, I dunno. Might be a while. I'm really lazy when it comes to not killing things, honestly."
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Edited by Stitch: 10/24/2017 2:25:30 AMThe woman stared at the gun in his hand. "I think the saddest thing is that I care more about asking about the gun you're using. I'm weird like that." She pulled out a similarly large hand gun from her jacket. It appeared to have an almost identical design as a 1911, but a larger barrel and an extended magazine. The paint being a mix of silver and and white ivory.
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"Oh so you don't care about the murder? Hell yeah! Means I don't have anything to cover up, then. And you like my pieces? Good shit! I try to keep them in pristine condition. One engraving for each person that's been killed by them. Looks like today I add a new engraving!" [b]He smiles, and sticks his hand out for a shake.[/b] "Call me the Vampire Hunter."
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"Just call me Star." She shook his hand while holstering the gun under her jacket again. "I've killed enough to know 'accidents' can happen." She put air quotes around accidents.
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[b]The vampire Hunter chuckles a little bit more, nodding.[/b] "Oh, I think I like you already. I'm assuming you got into some trouble with the local management, that's why you were being kicked out?"
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"Yeah.... I totally didn't overreact to being catcalled or anything." She said with thick sarcasm.
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"Understandable. Trust me, back when I was a young man, I used to murder people for doing stuff like that. So I'm not gonna judge at all."
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"Well, I didn't murder them so at least I'm not as bad as you, I guess." She shrugged. "May I ask why such a long and weird name?"
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"Because I want to not tell people my real name. And it's just what people have called me for... A thousand years, give or take."
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Star nodded. "Okay then. May I also ask why your face is so weordly covered?"
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"It's weirdly covered because if you were ever to actually see my face you'd begin to see my face everywhere you looked. And it used to drive people insane, so it's just a precaution."
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"So...you're not human?" The woman was oddly curious about the man. "I mean, I'm not either. If you look at my eyes you'll notice one is blue and the other orange."
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"That's actually possible in humans. It's called being calico and having a genetic defect. So the eyes don't really give anything away at all. But no. I'm not human. Well, I was once, but I'm not anymore."
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"Yeah, I know. I've used that excuse before. It's just very rare and instantly makes people suspicious of me. Also, you were? What the heck are you now and why?"
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"I am a homunculus and it's for two reasons. One, it makes me immortal, and two, I got to choose how someone could kill me if I ever wanted them to. I made it pretty funny." [b]A smirk comes to his face.[/b]
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"You can only die in one way and you got to make it up? Woah, that's...huh. Wait, funny as in how? Funny as in embarrassing or...sexual?"
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"Embarrassing. I don't do sex, Star. I get enough pleasure from the amount of murder I get to commit on a daily basis. And by that I'm killing vampires, werewolves, zombies, etcetera."
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"Embarrassing how? Like, do a dumb dance? If I were you and I got to choose I'd make it super specific so it would be near impossible to kill me."
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"Well the thing is, only I know. But I keep a way to kill me somewhere on me, just in case. So even if I made it specific, what's the real point of I'm just gonna keep my own murder plan on me? I never need to sleep, so I don't need to worry about someone stealing it from me."
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"Wha....Why would you wear it on you? Then someone could figure it out and kill you pretty easily. I mean...whatever. Your choice, I guess."
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"Listen, I've been around since the ancient Mesopotamians were grasping how to write down laws. Once you've lived for as long as I have, you go a little crazy. If someone kills me, so be it. I have... Other ways of doing things."
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Edited by Stitch: 10/24/2017 4:20:05 AM"Mesowhohas? Uhh...okay. Yeah, that makes sense, I guess. So, you just go around humting the undead?"
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"Precisely. Undead and those who use black magic. You know, just the heathens and cretins. It gets kinda boring when it's just a necromancer and I only have skellies to shoot, though."
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"Really? I'd rather shoot something that's not alive. Skeletons are a bit weak though. Not sure if they're worth a bullet."