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originally posted in:The New Dojo
11/26/2017 5:40:05 AM
1
[i]"Alright. I'll start - Firstly, I fought a dude made of leather, secondly, I own a black van with the letters 'FBI Surveillance' on the side." [/i]
English
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“The former is a lie?”
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[i]"Nah, I actually did fight a dude made of leather. Stole some sèxbots and watched a buddy get cut into cubes that day, -blam!-in' strange." [/i]
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You’d expect her to twitch or something, but she calmly accepts it as reality and drinks. “You have a blind spot starting one foot from your nape at a 62.3 degree angle if I am making myself less than 0.975 meters tall, and there is a type of creature with the ability to reverse all curses using its stomach acid.”
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[i]"Second one, you're fûckin' strange enough to calculate that shit." [/i]
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“Incorrect. Your blind spot is at 153.7 degrees, and it does not matter how tall I am, you never look there.”
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[i]"Right, because straight men don't look at their female friends," JT replied sarcastically, before drinking. "Alright. I caught three friends when they jumped out of an airship, and I met my ex wife in an alleyway before recruiting her for my militia." [/i]
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“The second is untrue. You do not strike me as the type to get married and then divorce or allow for a divorce.”
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[i]"Wrong. Wife died, and I only caught two friends." [/i]
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“Unfortunate.” She drinks again. “A mage possesses two major weaknesses. The first is an over reliance on magic in combat. The second is assuming they will learn everything through magic. The primary vulnerability of cyborgs is their dual makeup.”
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[i]"The second. I'll tell you right now that my dual makeup ain't jack shit because of neuropozyne and the fact I'm almost all machine." [/i]
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“Good to know. And you are incorrect. Induced overgrowth or overcharge is the most consistent way, averaging a 92% rate of success, to disable 79.8472% of cyborgs. This would not be possible if they were entirely biological or entirely mechanical.”
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[i]"The -blam!- you tryin' to say? I don't speak mathlete." [/i]
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“I am speaking English. In roughly 80 percent of cyborgs, exploiting their dual makeup by disrupting a balance almost always disables them.”
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[i]"Not with neuropozyne," JT stated, taking a drink. "Firstly, I've named my hat. Secondly, I have a robo horse." [/i]
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“I do not have any observations to suggest the existence of a robotic horse. Also, an ATV would be more efficient in most cases.”
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[i]"Wrong. My horse is named Sullivan, and I look badass on him." [/i]
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“Why would you get on something that makes you look like an evil or poorly constructed pair of buttocks?”
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[i]"Badass is a term people use to describe something cool." [/i]
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“So iced water is badass?”
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[i]"No. Cool as in awesome, not cold in this context." [/i]
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“I understand.”
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[i]"Your turn."[/i]
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“It is currently three hundred degrees kelvin outside, and this whiskey has been watered down.”
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[i]"Whiskey - we gotta find us some harder shit." [/i]
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“Correct.”
