originally posted in:The New Dojo
[spoiler]Yes, this could be considered "edgy". Oh well, not like he's constantly dealing with PTSD and brooding like some other people....[/spoiler]
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In a corner of his room, Bedlam sat on the floor, bouncing a rubber ball against the wall and catching it. Instead of his normal classy attire, he wore a simple white-t and basketball shorts, obviously just dressed for comfort.
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The young man sat there with a blank expression, he didn't really look like his happy self, nor did he look angry, or sad, or anything. He looked like he was just there and alive, not feeling anything.
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From his eye a tear would fall, his expression still blank and his eyes glued to the ball as he kept bouncing it. Another tear would follow...and then another.
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He'd miss a catch, the ball rolling across his floor and out of reach. He just sighed and laid himself down on the ground he was already sitting on, gazing up at the ceiling. Bedlam then put a hand onto his chest...
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Bum.
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Bum.
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Bum.
He felt his heart beat, as if checking to see if he was alive before putting his hand down at his side. The cool air ran a chill through his body, so naturally he curled up a little to try and keep warm. The coolness wouldn't go away though, not the emptiness he felt. It would never pass.
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Bum.
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Bum.
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Bum.
It would never fade.
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Bum.
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Bum.
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Bum.
He'd forever feel this pain...this dull pain of not feeling anything. It contradicted itself, but...he didn't know how else to describe it. The idea that your emotions have just shut off and that you don't feel anything at all, it scared him. Bedlam blamed himself, for this must be his punishment for his past sins. This must be his personal hell.
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Bum.
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Bum.
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Bum.
Bedlam sighed, not feeling any motivation to get up or do anything. He just wanted to lie here and just rest. He wanted to give up. He knew though, that people counted on him and that they'd just be hurt knowing about how he felt...or didn't feel. He knew that he just had to put on that fake smile and laugh for another day, for everyone else. If he couldn't feel happiness or love or joy, he thought of it as his life goal to make as many people as happy as he could. To give others what he couldn't give himself.
"Another day..."
Bedlam chuckled and grinned, getting up and changing himself into his normal attire with a simple thought before walking out of his room. He had put back on the mask, the mask he wore so much it would be impossible to tell if it was the real him or not...even he forgot at times.
[quote]===========Later at around noon in Dojoville==========[/quote]
In a circle sat a bunch of kids, Bedlam being the only adult in the group. They all had recorders, so everyone nearby had already ran away, knowing how terrible that noise would be. The kids were terrible at first, causing Bedlam to wince in physical pain from the horrible screeching coming from some of the kids. Eventually, after a lot of practice and guidance from Bedlam, the children were actually capable of playing a few Christmas songs for the holidays. Bedlam smiled at the kids, laughed with them, and congratulated them on their progress before getting up to go.
"I'm sorry, but I can't stay any longer. I've got to go stretch my legs, maybe eat, and maybe go see some of my friends. I'll see you all tomorrow though, won't I?"
The children all nodded before Bedlam gave a last goodbye and began walking away from the kids, running into you around the corner. He immediately apologized.
"Sorry, I didn't see you!"
[spoiler]Open.[/spoiler]
English
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He would hit someone white...and fluffy. Uh oh. "Hey! Watch it!" Came the biting reply as Alpha got to her feet. She was carrying a box of tools, plasma cartridges, and...guitar strings and picks. She started gathering it all up.
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Bedlam got down and tried to help her pick it up, apologizing as he did. "Sorry! I didn't mean to..."
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"Yeah yeah." She practically spat at him, snatching it all away. "I bet you didn't"
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"Hey, why are...oh." Bedlam just noticed it was Alpha and nervously chuckled. "Uhh....I really didn't mean to. I mean, it's not like I hate you or something. I'd rather be your friend than anything really."
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"OH REALLY?" That set her off, and she was obviously having to stop herself from becoming physically violent towards Bedlam. "REALLY? AFTER EVERYTHING?"
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He backed off a little, a weak grin on his face. "Y-Yeah....I don't see why we have to be hostile toward each other. You seem rather nice...when you're not yelling at me."
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"And how would you know that, hmm? Been snooping around in my head?" She said, snarling at him (literally)
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"H-Hey, that was just for that one fight. I'd never do that outside of a fight..." Bedlam sighed. "Sorry if I caused you a lot of pain."
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She just pulled her tranq gun, and fired. The round definately wasn't a tranq, but it wasn't lethal. Hurt like hell. The round sank into his lower left leg, only being a small fletchette "Sorry if that caused you pain" She sneered
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Bedlam just sighed again. "I probably deserved that, but I'm being serious. Why are you so mad at me? It can't just be because of the fight, can it?"
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She just turned and walked away, walking with a noticeable tremble
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Bedlam followed, walking beside her. "Hey, are you alright? You seem to be shaking..."
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"Back off." She said tersely
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[spoiler]m a x i m u m e d g e[/spoiler]
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"I'm not backing off when you're obviously mad at me. I want to resolve this. Can you at least tell me why you're mad at me? What did I do?"
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She just stayed silent, not wanting to say a thing
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"Okay....Silence." He just kept following.
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"You made me relive hell." She said quietly
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"I'm really sorry, Alpha, I really am. I don't think I could ever make up for doing what I did, but maybe I can do something for you? How about free food? No one can say no to free food." Bedlam smiled a little.
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"That's a no for me." She said angrily "Because unlike you, I have to deal with actual shit."
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"Oh okay, hurtful. Umm...Want to maybe talk this out while we go on a nice walk somewhere or something?"
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"Look, I'm going to be honest with you. It's the only way you'll -blam!- off. I'm breaking it off with Pan. I'm hoping she doesn't kill me. I don't need the stress of you being around."
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"I thought she already broke up with you and that's why she asked me ou-Okay, yeah. I'll just go..." Bedlam quickly shut up and turned to leave.
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"....don't." She said, quietly "I....could...use a friend...for a change" He could tell it pained her to say that
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"Everyone needs a friend." He turned back to her with a small grin. "I'd be more than happy to be yours...if you don't kill me."