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originally posted in:The New Dojo
Edited by Stitch:
1/11/2018 6:24:41 AM
113
[quote][url=http://www.bungie.net]Everyone has to start somewhere?[/url][/quote]
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
In front of the town of Dojoville, stood a short, middle-aged man standing at 5'6" wearing a cheap shark suit bought at a dollar store with the tail duck taped on. He smiled maliciously at the town with a pose of confidence as he laughed like a cliche villain.
"Today is your reckoning, Dojoville! For I, LaserSharkMan, shall conquer you! I will have you all become my minions of evil and wear matching outfits while you do my evil deeds...which are totally not the chores my mom keeps bothering me about!"
He cleared his throat.
"ANYWAY! Is there no hero to rise and meet my evil?! Or is your hero a coward?! Too scared to face me! I can't blame him...or her...or it...whatever the hero identifies as! For I am truly the embodiment of the evil in this world!"
[spoiler]Open. I know, he's terrifying, but I believe in you guys. You can take him down.[/spoiler]
English
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"Is that so?! Well, you have now doomed your precious Dojoville! For I, LaserSharkMan! Shall steal the water away and make it my own! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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“What?! NO!” Cain cried, yelling with a warriors cry as he began to sprint at lasersharkman.
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LaserSharkMan stood his ground, smirking. "You shall fall, hero!" A water hose suddenly rose from the ground in front of Cain, attempting to trip him.
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Cain tried to jump, but he rolled a 1 on his dex save, making him face plant into the ground.
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"HAHA!" LaserSharkMan cheered victoriously. "What did I say?! You are foolish to think you can take me down, hero!"
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“I...will...defeat you!” Cain yelled, facing his greatest enemy yet as he stood up and began to run towards the nogooddoer.
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Edited by Stitch: 1/11/2018 8:04:15 PM"Shark attack!" He pulled out a small...t-shirt launcher? He fired it at Cain and it must've been heavily modded as a buckshot of small, rubber sharks were fired at him. They were completely nonlethal, but might leave a welt or two.
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“Ah! What?! Ow!” Cain yelled as the sharks hit his skin with thuds and impacts. He kept running.
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Edited by Stitch: 1/11/2018 8:06:17 PMLaserSharkMan reloaded the t-shirt launcher and fired another volley, aimed at Cain's head. "Fall to my sharks, hero! You'll be sleeping with the fishes tonight!"
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“That doesn’t make sense! I wouldn’t be able to breath underwater! So I wouldn’t be able to sleep with the fishes!” Cain yelled as he continued to sprint, hitting away sharks with his spear.
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"It's an expression for dying!" He just kept reloading and firing the makeshift cannon. "Why won't you die?!"
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“I am hard to kill!” Cain replied, continuing his mad dash that he should’ve completed by now.
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Because of fictional logic it would take him another episode or two, so LaserSharkMan went to reload again only to find he ran out of shark buckshots. "Damn...out of ammo. Time to ramp it up!" He pulled out a different looking casing and fired it with his cannon, small octopus...octupi? Whatever, they now flew at Cain with suction cups on them to help them cling on.
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“Ha! Jokes on you, I enjoy seafood!” Cain yelled, tearing and octopus off and taking a big bite out of it before throwing it to the side.
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"That's...! That's not healthy, man....Those were raw." LaserSharkMan looked a little disgusted at this. "They've also been baking in the sun for a week...so...should I call an ambulance for you?"
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“No! I am...oh dear...” Cain suddenly said, stopping and holding his stomach. “Errr...I...suddenly do not feel that good....”
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"Dude, let me get you an ambulance..." LaserSharkMan pulled out an old flip phone and dialed 911.
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“Oh...oh no. BLUGH!” Cain let out, barfing into an alleyway.
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"Uhh...yes. Well, this guy just ate some really old seafood that has been sitting out for a long period of...Yeah, I'll hold." LaserSharkMan stood near Cain, bad music playing through the phone as he was somehow put on hold.
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“Your power is...too str-BLUGH.” Cain threw up again into the alley.
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"Dude, calm down. You seem like, really sick. No worries, the hold for emergency help can't be too long here, right?"
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Cain simply collapsed on the ground, and before going silent let out a “curse you...evildoer...”
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"Uhhh....I guess I win! MUHAHAHAHA!" LaserSharkMan placed a foot on Cain's back and stood triumphant. "This town will be mine!"
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He got a little puke on his shoe in the process of doing so. It smelt like...well...seafood.
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"Ew..." He got off of Cain and began to walk away with a wide smile. "I can't believe that worked..." [spoiler]END?[/spoiler]
