I've been watching this thing for years now, at least that's what it feels like, waiting for suggestions. Then when I got them I put them into action. First I tried Xbox.com, but they didn't provide any help for getting rid of soulless irradiated spiders. I was confused on what to do next, so while I thought of ways I decided to drink wine.
Then drunken me thought I could seek help from the monks of displacefaraway, so I set off across mountains and rivers and canyons to get to their monastery. They said that they think this spider could bring death to all of the universe, and so they took up arms and joined me on a quest to kill the spider.
When me and my party of monks returned to the house I grabbed my shotgun from my lookout spot, while at the same time witnessing mines the spider seems to have placed. I asked a four armed monk on what to do and he said, "Dismantle mines, yeeees?" I asked how but he said nothing. So I approached a mine and quoted a bible verse at it, I thought it worked but it turns out I just have to step inside a holographic ring for about a minute.
I did this with all the mines on the path and approached the spider, then I shot it numerous times with my shotgun. But the high radiation melted the pellets before they could hit. The monks told me to become the spider, so I did. But I was too horrified at the spider's thoughts of universal destruction and returned to my own body.
After that I refused to blink and stared at it for a very long time, I said to the monks, "We need to destroy earth." One asked why, so I said, "It's the only way to kill this spider."
Ok guys, I need to get to the centre of the earth, any ideas? The spider will definitely try to stop us however.
[spoiler]tldr: read above[/spoiler]
[spoiler]kept you waiting huh[/spoiler]
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Well then. Consult the Russians. They will know. If that doesn't work go back in time and contact Hitler about it. He'll know.