Voidwalker: “Sleeper Simulant! Is there anywhere in these forums where we could ask for a OHK Throwing Knife?”
Sleeper Simulant (Human Form): “Who sent you?”
VW: “The Hunters who say ‘Nerf’.”
SS: “Aghh! No! Never— we have no OHK abilities here!”
VW: “If you do not tell us where we can ask for a OHK Throwing Knife, my friend and I will say...... we will say..... ‘Nerf!’.”
SS: “Aghh! Do your worst!”
Voidwalker: “Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily...... NERF!”
SS: “No! Never! No OHK!”
Voidwalker: “NERF!”
Striker: “NOOF!”
VW: “No no no, it’s not that, it’s ‘Nerf’.”
S: “NOOF!”
VW: “No no, ‘Nerf’, you’re not doing it properly.”
S: “NERF!”
VW: “Nerf, that’s it, you’ve got it!”
V&S: “NERF! NERF! NERF! NERF! NERF!”
Barry the Buffer: “Are you saying ‘Nerf’ to that fusion rifle?”
VW: “Um, yes.”
BtB: “Oh, what sad times are these when salty PvP players can say ‘Nerf’ at will to Exotics. That is a pestilence upon these forums. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arranged and designed OHK abilities are under considerable community rage at this period in history.”
VW: “Did you say ‘OHK abilities’?”
BtB: “Yes. Buffing is my job. I am a buffer. My name is Barry the Buffer. I arrange, design and give buffs.”
S: “NERF!”
VW: “NO!”
[i]Later[/i]
VW: “Oh Hunters of Nerf, we have brought you your Throwing Knife. May we play now?”
Hunter who says Nerf: “It is a good ability. I like the cooldown particularly. But there is one small problem.”
VW: “What is that?”
HwsN: “We are now no longer the Hunters who say ‘Nerf’—
Hunter: “NERF!”
HwsN: “We are now the Hunters who say ‘Get rid of everything that is able to kill me in PvP’. Therefore, we must give you a test.”
VW: “What is this test, O Hunters of.... Hunters who till recently said ‘Nerf’?”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “Firstly, you must find.... ANOTHER OHK ABILITY!”
VW: “Not another OHK ability!”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “Then, when you have found the ability, you must place it here with this ability, only synchronize it so we can instantly get it back when we kill someone—“
Hunters: “Sync! Sync! Sync! Sync! Sync!”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “Then, when you have found the ability, you must defeat the mightiest raid boss in the game WIIIIIITH.... A MIDA!”
VW: “We shall do no such thing!”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “Oh please?”
VW: “Kill a raid boss with a Mida? It would need a buff fir—“
Hunters: “Aghh!”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “Don’t say that word!”
VW: “What word?”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “I cannot tell, suffice to say that it is one of the words that the Hunters of Nerf cannot hear!”
VW: “All I’m saying is that the Mida would need a better perk and a damage buff to—“
Hunters: “Aghh! He said it again!”
HwsGroetiatkmiPvP: “We’d go far in life if you did not say ‘Buff’!”
S: “Look, sir! It’s Nevel, the Competitive Nightstalker!”
Nevel’s Ghost: “🎶He’s throwing a fit and leaving the match and going to orbit and into his ship and getting messaged and reported and penalized, yes, angrily, he has gone!🎶”
VW: “Nevel!”
NtCN: “Clan Rookie! It’s good to see you!”
VW: “Surely you have not abandoned your quest for the Luna’s Howl.”
NG: “🎶He’s running away and—“
NtCN: “Shut up! No no no, I was just going to ask the Developers to buff Nightstal—“
Hunters: “Aghh! He said it again!”
NtCN: “I hope they give me a buff if I ask for it—“
Hunters: “Aghh!”
NtCN: “Uh, here in these forums.”
VW: “I’m sure you are capable of doing it without a buff—“
Hunters: “Aghh! The word! Stop saying the word!”
VW: “Oh shut up!”
[b][i]END[/i][/b]
This post is a parody of: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0e2kaQqxmQ0
[b]BRIDGE OF DEATH PARODY [/b] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/249423401/0/0
Link to part 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/249334042/0/0
Disclaimer: The Hunters who say ‘Nerf’ do not represent every Hunter. Please don’t get too offended. I’m well aware that there are Hunters who want actual balance for everyone and that there are other classes who scream for nerfs.
Is jes joke!
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I want a story about the mighty warlock, Tim.