[spoiler](I swear I didn't copy Veggie or anything. All of this stuff was pre-written last month and edited on the spot)
(Except the ATMM Drop one. That was last minute cause I just wanted to prolong the series a bit and add a nifty function to the remote)[/spoiler]
——
*You take out the last tape, also red, but it’s not like the others… It’s a -blam!- in a -blam!- player. You read the writing on it*
[b]Test 331.5[/b]
*The writing is neat, there aren’t even spelling errors… did that explosion do something?
You push play and listen in. You hear what could only be Sumpig's soothing podcast-voice flow from the -blam!-*
Sumpig-2: Test Three Thirty One. Hey guys, welcome to my ASMR vid- kidding. Ya know, it’s weird. This being an audio only. But unfortunately, the explosion ruined the camera and most of my lab, so I’m currently using the only other recording device I could find. It’s around winter now, so I’m currently wearing a red scarf. That and burn ointment.
[clears throat]
Sumpig-2: Now about that explosion. I was flung to the other side of the room. Broke a few bones and got a few burns, but my coat blocked most of the explosion. Good thing I invented this no rip, stain, burn, and puncture coat. Laziness saves lives folks! But it doesn't save your bones...
So, apparently the ATMM went unstable or the cooling units malfunctioned and clogged. Hard to tell with a room missing more than half its contents. Of course the ATMM had to be rebuilt from scratch and such, but I did it. So now the ATMM-02 is in the other room. Took a few weeks and nonstop work. Like, nonstop. So much coffee. So many donuts...
Might get a hot dog after this.
Anyways I’m gonna test the ATMM again. I took precautions to make sure it wouldn’t blow again, and this time I'm bringing you guys with me!
[you hear walking]
Sumpig-2: So that means, if I go, you go...
...wait no that wouldn't work. Darn it.
[ruffling]
Sumpig-2: Alright. Now to test the remote! Let’s go see… Rome! Heard they’ve got great gelato.
[sigh]
Sumpig-2: Here goes nothing...
[beep]
[Hisssssssss]
Sumpig-2: What? not agai-
[BANG]
[Silence]
Sumpig-2: Ah! my eyes.
Whe- why is it so dar- This ain’t Rome. Where am I?
[i]Sumpig-2[/i]: Oh, you're...
Sumpig-2: Wait who’s that?
[i]Sumpig-2: Uhh… I'm... your conscience...[/i]
Sumpig-2: Jiminy Cricket!
[i]Sumpig-2: No… I'm not a cricket. I'm you're conscious.[/i]
Sumpig-2: ... that was a movie reference.
[i]Sumpig-2: Sure, okay. I guess I am a voice in your head now, with the ability to think on my own.[/I]
Sumpig-2: I have DID?
[i]Sumpig-2: No, I am quite literally the voice in your head. But I use our mouth to speak as well. Plus you still control the body, we just can’t speak at the same time.[/i]
Sumpig-2: How do you kno-
[i]Sumpig-2: And here is a demonstration. You see? You stopped speaking automatically while normally it would take a few seconds for the another person to stop talking.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Well, tickle my pi-
[i]Sumpig-2: Don’t finish that line.[/i]
Sumpig-2: This is amazing! I won’t be alone anymore! I don't have to censor myself anymore, you could do that! We could go on adventures! Fight monsters! Ya know I recently fought a giant mosqui-
[i]Sumpig-2: Hold up! If you die we die so nothing too dangerous. Now I gotta explain other stuff too.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Oh yeah makes sense. What stuff?
[i]Sumpig-2: So, we are basically two separate consciousnesses. Right?[/i]
Sumpig-2: Yeah.
[i]Sumpig-2: That means, if you can control our body, then so can I. So there is that.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Huh. Yeah, that also makes sense.
[i]Sumpig-2: Good. I can also provide support from your head.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Like my guy in a chair?
[i]Sumpig-2: Kind of. First off, I can talk to you as you preform tasks. Using your mouth of course.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Cool
[i]Sumpig-2: Then I can also help you view things. Somewhat like, a Heads Up Display. I can calculate things, very well. So I should be able to help you see accurate projectile trajectories, so you you have a chance of dodging them. Lucky us. Unfortunately it only works for projectiles or weapons in our line of sight or if I know the rough position of the source. So ambushes and the opening shot from a far-range sniper are disadvantages.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Huh. You know, I can top at least Mach 1. I don't know why but things here are slow. What else?
[i]Sumpig-2: ...Well, that's. anyways, your original personalities have been extremely split. So I guess I'm the smarter one while you are the more all out one. Same with our fighting techniques. You're more of the offensive heavy damage sort. I'm the more evasive one that won't get our heads lobbed off.[/I]
Sumpig-2: Hey!
[i]Sumpig-2: Oh, about me taking control, you need to allow it first. Don't know why, probably because it started with you and it's a universal courtesy or something.[/I]
Sumpig-2: Anything else?
[i]Sumpig-2: We'll have to see figure out the rest. I know there is more. Just not what.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Interesting... So where are we and how do we leave?
[i]Sumpig-2: Huh? Oh, we are still in your lab. You're eyes are just closed[/i]
[pause]
Sumpig-2: Oh, so they are. Huh, This thing is still on. Better pau-
[The -blam!- cuts]
*You look in the box. There are no more tapes. Then you hear more from the -blam!-*
Sumpig-2: Alright. Test 331.5. This better be the last tape. So my new friend and I have been working on the ATMM and it finally works!
[i]Sumpig-2: Yeah, you’re welcome. Your math was off.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Simple mistakes! Now to test it! TO ROME!!!
[beep]
[BANG]
Sumpig-2: Oww, my eyes!… Wait, It works! It truly works! We're in ROME!!!
[i]Sumpig-2: That seems to be the case. Does the return function work?[/I]
Sumpig-2: One moment, let me get something first.
[There is a pause and what looks like a cut in audio]
[i]Sumpig-2: Alright you got your gelato. Now. The button?[/i]
Sumpig-2: Alright.
Uhhh. Hmmm.
[BANG]
Sumpig-2: Wow this place is beautiful. Nope!
[BANG]
Sumpig-2: Paris?
[scream]
Sumpig-2: Oops sorry ma’am!
[BANG]
[Slosh]
Sumpig-2: Uhh yuck!
[i]Sumpig-2: Is that an actual ogre?[/i]
Ogre: Ge’ ou’ o’ me SWAMP!
Sumpig-2: Ahhh!!!
[BANG]
Sumpig-2: Ah here we go!
[i]Sumpig-2: Test success. The device works.[/i]
Sumpig-2: Indeed it does! Finally after months of trial and major error, our goal is accomplished! Alrighty then, for the last time. That’s all folks!
[i]Sumpig-2: You know that's a cartoo-?[/I]
Sumpig-2: Well aware. What say you we watch some TV. I'm thinking Evangeli-
[The -blam!- stops]
[spoiler]You thought this was a normal series of experimentation, but it was actually I! A Cheesy Origin Story![/spoiler]
-
So what’s the speed of sound? Am disappointed.