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Edited by A Tigerstorm: 9/26/2019 6:00:36 PM
8

The Offtopic Murder Mystery: SEASON 2 (part 8)

Chubby, Saber, Eagle, and Aku all slowly walked out of the room and up the stairs, hoping to surprise the killer. As they ascended the stairwell up to the kitchen, Eagle began asking questions. “Why is Toaster even here? Didn’t he die way back when? Why is he working for the killer? Who is this guy?” Chubby shushed him. “We’ll answer those questions once we catch this guy, but for right now focus on the task at hand. And look out for-“ *Click* Everyone looked down to see Saber’s foot had landed on what appeared to be a pressure plate, sinking into the floor. Everyone stood very still, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. “Saber…” Chubby calmly said. “Don’t…move…a -blam!-ing…muscle.” Saber looked back up at him. “Look, I’m not getting out of this alive, you guys go ahead!” Aku looked at him. “No way, we aren’t leaving you!” “It’s either gonna be a crusher or a bottomless pit, so just leave me! Save yourselves!” Saber hissed. He pulled out a small chip and handed it to Eagle. “My body won’t survive but my mind sure as hell can!” “Ooooooohhh….” Eagle and Aku sighed. “Well then, it was a pleasure knowing you, Saber.” The three of them ran up the stairs to the door and waited to see if the trap would spring. Saber began to raise his foot. “Here goes nothing.” As he raised his foot, the trapped plate clicked again. And nothing happened. Saber looked around. “HA! I guess I was being melodramatic for-“ Two gigantic electric rods sprung up and began discharging electricity everywhere around Saber, frying his metallic body and mind. “BLAGWHUANADNJDHAHAHAWOOHWWIE!” He yelled as he got shocked. Then, he fell silent and fell to the floor as the electric rods retracted back into the walls. “Goddamnit!!” Aku yelled. “[b]God won’t damn a thing.[/b]” Chubby whirled around with his sword and saw the killer standing in the kitchen ahead of them. He stood with his arms behind his back, and a sword at his waist. It was not drawn but remained holstered. “Both of you, leave. Get the others.” Chubby remarked. “But-“ Aku began. “GET. OUT.” Chubby firmly stated. “[b]Yes, why don’t you run along and leave the victim and killer to talk?[/b]” the killer dryly remarked. Aku and Eagle stared at both of them, and without second thoughts, they ran before they could stop themselves to help Chubby. The killer drew his katana. “[b]I always wondered how these swords always fared. Shall we?[/b]” ____________________________________________________ Timns entered the main hall, where everyone had gathered. He approached Liam, holding traffic Cones hat. “So yeah…be booby trapped the Puma too.” “Warthog,” Giant yelled without even looking. “Whatever!” Timns yelled back. “Point is, this guy is so incredibly paranoid I think he booby-trapped everything in here!” He began fiddling with one of the teleportation orbs he had stolen. “Then we better ask our ‘killer in residence’ how he does it.” Liam replied. “How about it Varvartos? How did you do it? How did you kill them?” As he spoke, Giant spun a swivel chair around, revealing Varvatos tied to the chair, with his mouth taped. He muttered something but couldn’t make it out. “What did you say, killer?!” Giant yelled, brandishing his ax. “You’ll pay for killing my friend Dr. Titan!” “Whoa, ease off the throttle there giant!” Tilman said, trying to calm him down. “MMMMMMMMM!” Varvatos mumbled. Nighthawk leaned against a corner. “He can’t speak with that tape on. Besides, I doubt he’s the killer. Varvatos is a robot, but he isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed to pull something like this off,” he explained with a smug. “Cold…” Six muttered. “MMM!” Varvatos protested. “Well then Nighthawk, explain the robotic voice we keep hearing from the speakers and from the killer. How does he do that if he isn’t a robot?” Liam chimed in. “Simple,” Nighthawk said as he reached toward Varvatos’ mouth and ripped off the tape. He yelped in shock then sighed in relief. “A robot has a voice box, like Varvatos here.” Nighthawk pointed toward his neck. “The killer, as I was fighting him, didn’t seem to have any robotic parts like that. That Bull helmet seems to be protection, a HUD, and a voice distorter. I used to have a mask that could do that. This guy is 100% flesh and blood.” “Bull mask…” Timns mused Liam crossed his arms. “Okay, then what about the-“ The speakers blared to life, “[b]10 little Offtopics, one didn’t watch their step and got fried. 9 little Offtopics, now running from fate.”[/b] the voice called. Everyone looked up and collectively said “shit” out loud. “See?! Varvatos is innocent!” Cried Varvatos, before having Giant place his ax next to his neck. “One more word and I swear I will hold you responsible for the death of Titan!” Giant angrily yelled. “What about everyone else?” Six called. Giant looked back. “And I’ll bill their funerals on him too.” “There ya go.” “Hold on, someone or something is coming!” Tilman yelled. Everyone took their places by the door of the main hall. Someone was sprinting through the halls. Liam grabbed a nearby chair. “Tilman grab that chair. Alright, on three. One, two…” Aku and Eagle burst into the main hall and immediately got their faces smashed by two folding chairs. They fell to the ground, growing. “My suit!” Eagle yelped. Liam and Tilman looked at each other, then back at the others. “Uhhh…..oops? Wait, where were you two? Wheres Saber and Demon?” Aku groaned. “Chubby is fighting the killer and told us to run!” “Chubby?!” Nighthawk exclaimed. “Yeah, this was after the killer just cooked Saber. We came here for help.” Eagle explained as Tilman pulled him up. He turned his attention to Nighthawk who crossed his arms, but his face was in shock. “What’s the matter Nighthawk? Upset Chubby is alive?” “I’m upset that you’re here!” He hissed. Aku looked at him. “What’s your deal with Eagle? Old murder victim? Business partner?” Both the birds looked at each other. “No…” Nighthawk stated. “Eagle is an old cousin of mine. Dipshit.” “Seagull -blam!-er.” Eagle shot back. Timns suddenly bust past everyone to look at the two of them. “HOLD ON, YOU GUYS ARE COUSINS? You know what? -blam!- it, I’m gonna go help Chubby. Who’s in?” Timns asked. “I’m game,” Giant said. “Me too,” Tilman responded. “I’ve got a bone to pick with Chubby, so I’ll go.” Six replied. He looked back at Liam. “Keep an eye on Fifty Shades of Robot and the bird cousins.” Without further ado, the four heroes set off back into the hall, leaving Aku, Liam, the Birds, and Varvatos inside the main hall.

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  • It appears that Nighthawk and I hate each other with a passion. [spoiler]This is a joke [i]but...[/i] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/253652740/0/0/1 Hawks are the inferior bird[/spoiler]

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