Intro Dialogue: Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the nerfing on The Moon. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Bungo T'ark. From what I can gather they command the nerfs from an Imperial Land Office outside of Bungocon. they're well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this Nerfer out, and break their grip on Warlock Nerfs
We then step onto the moon, eris morn comes across our feed, she says in a distressed tone, "warlocks have been nerfed by the great nightmares called bungo!" our ghost comments on this, saying how powerful we used to be, "we lost our light once before, but it looks like we may lose it again if bungo gets carried away with their nerfs" ghost says in a normal tone, with a slight hint of fear mixed in, we then continue the mission like normal, half way through the mission we end up seeing a shadowy figure pass our screens from a corner, ghost says, "what was that, did you just see what i saw guardian?" zavalah arrives on the feed and says, "no... it cannot be...", you hear a noise from behind you, "IT WAS YOU, YOU WHO TRIED TO MAKE WARLOCKS GOOD AGAIN, WASN'T IT!?", you turn around, to see the monster, the darkest creature of the taken, pete parsons... "its him guardian!!! RUN!!!" shouts zavalah into your feed, but before you could even start to think about running, he attacks you with nerfs left and right... he fires nerfs at you... after a long, and well fought battle, you finally defeat him, and he drops a quest! the quest reads the following... "you have defeated pete parsons of bungo and co, he left a note stating that whoever defeats him must bring this encrypted engram that comes with this note to a cryptarch" you go to the tower, your ship lands, and everyone greets you with awe, and with smiles on their faces, cayde 6 comes back to life just for this event, everyone has a party, you drink your sodi pop, and eat your chicken nuggies with zavalah, he enjoys this so much he smiles for the first time since forever, it goes into the night, late, late into the night... and your ghost says to you, "guardian, i just remembered, didn't we pick up an engram from last night? when we defeated you know who?" you transmat an exotic engram in your hand, and you walk to the cryptarch rahool, but he is not there! so you walk up to eververse, and speak to tess, tess look at you quizically, and says... "clean up dust, reorginize my inventory, its not home yet... but it will be..." you stare at her confused, she has said this numerous times despite it being several years since the red war has happened, but now is not the time to question her mental sanity, you ask her, do you know where master rahool is? a dialogue box pops up because bungo cannot hire new or old staff to voice a few lines, and tells you that master rahool is where ikora is usually set up, you go to master rahool and he says, oh... what is this fine engram doing here? i never thought i would see something this high quality in a long time... he decrypts it and hands you a weapon, a solid gold nerf gun! the perks on this gun allow you to fire a datto bullet that tracks things people love to use, and complains about it making bungie nerf it instantly, making it have 0 ammo and 0 dps, removing all perks from this weapon/armor piece/exotic,
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Comedy gold xddddd