“THAT-“
“-IS-“
“-JUST-“
“-F UCKING-“
“-STUPID!!!!!!” They both yelled together. The force of their yell shook Tiger, confusing him for a moment. He frowned and began growling. To their surprise, he just started laughing again after overcoming his momentary confusion.
“Yes, my friends! It is stupid! The corner camping was very boring! But it was homey!” Tiger happily yelled. “But it is required for my job! My job is to guard this here door for the Big Chungus!” Tiger pointed to the doorway.
“WHAT?!” Nighthawk yelled.
“I am to find artifacts and put them into da door, so that the damned can *CRACK* FUGGIN WALK BACK INTO DA LAND OF THE LIVIN!!! Do you have a blue ball with you?” Tiger asked.
“Well, we-“ Eagle started.
“NOPE! Nooononononononono! No! We do not!” Nighthawk quickly interjected. “Can you uh, give us a minute to talk Tiger?”
“Hohohohoho! But of course bird! I need to think about *CRACK* ZOGGIN OR HUGGIN YOU YA FUGGIN GIT!” Tiger cracked.
Nighthawk dragged Eagle to a corner of the room, out of hearing range for Tiger. Once they were alone, Nighthawk hissed. “We can’t -blam!-ing trust him!”
Eagle crossed his arms. “Why not? He seems…out of it sure, but overall he acts like how I’ve heard.”
“That’s not it!” Nighthawk hissed. “There is too much wrong with him. First of all, he would never play Fortnite and forsake Minecraft! Second of all, he doesn’t speak like he normally did! He’s speaking way too…formal! And that cracking noise…He’s only done that once before. When he harnessed the power of the Chungus.”
“I’m sorry, come again?”
Nighthawk sighed. “Okay, you know the Big Chungus? While back he was half the reason why the Cat-Girl desert is a thing! WE CANNOT TRUST HIM!” Nighthawk pointed toward Tiger, who suddenly began walking toward them.
“Bird!”
Nighthawk’s shoulders slouched. “Oh goddamnit! WHAT?”
“Gimme a hug!” Tiger spread his arms out.
Both birds just stared at him, then with a look at each other, they started to back up. “Yeah…we’ll pass!” Eagle protested.
“But I got nothing but happiness and hugs for my dear birdie friend! I want to give you an ‘I’m not mad you ruined everything’ Hug!” Tiger said.
“THAT WAS LEE, GODDAMNIT!!!” Nighthawk yelled.
“Please don’t make him angry,” Eagle begged.
“Come here, friend!” Tiger insisted.
“You take another step and I’ll kill you ag-“ Nighthawk got no further as Tiger suddenly grabbed him and began hugging him in a horrendous bear hug. Bones could be heard cracking, Nighthawk’s screams could be heard for what could’ve been miles. “LET GOT OF ME!!!!! I'M PHYSICALLY ILL!!!!! AGHH! WHY ARE YOU SO -blam!-ING HAPPY?!”
“Ohhohoho! Don’t worry bird!” Tiger stated. “I got *CRACK*-“
“I MEAN IT LET GO OF ME!” Nighthawk yelled.
“6 MILLION HUGZ TO GIVE YA, POULTRY -blam!-!”
“STOP HUGGING ME!!” Nighthawk yelled.
“COME'ERE YA GIT!” Tiger squeezed Nighthawk with all his newfound might, seemingly breaking Nighthawk’s back as he screamed in utter pain. The watch strapped to Nighthawk's arm was also crushed, activating the beacon on the doorway. The beacon began to glow, and hum. As quickly as the hug began, Tiger let his grip lessen. Nighthawk sighed in pained relief.
“Uhhhh, Sir Tiger?” Eagle asked. “Can you let him go? Nighthawks wings are still healing from the time Veggethebull broke them during the Second Murder Mystery.”
“I SLASHED HALF OF HIS -blam!-ING FACE OFF!” Nighthawk yelled again. “WHY DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THAT?!”
“Don’t worry little American bird!” Tiger assured. “The hugs will come for you as well! Preferably before DDT does!”
“Please do not hug me.” Eagle began backing up.
“I MEAN IT FOR REAL, LET ME GO, TIGER!!” Nighthawk screeched.
“OHOHOHO!” Tiger gigged before crushing Nighthawk again. This time though, the device on Nighthawk's wrist shattered, sending a signal to the beacon. The beacon began blaring an alarm, levitating the doorway into the air, pulling the blue orb from Eagles backpack on it's own and placing it into its final socket, and then with a whoosh of energy, the door was launched in the blink of an eye towards Tiger.
“Huh? *CRACK* OH FUG MY ZOG!” Tiger yelped before the doorway crashed into him, releasing nighthawk onto the ground, and sending thousands of Gold coins scattered around into a flurry of chaos. For a few moments, nothing happened, until Nighthawk sat up.
“-blam!-!” He yelled. “Wait, that wasn’t supposed to happen!”
“You just activated the levitation setting on the beacon,” Eagle spoke, “Managed to somehow put the orb into the doorway, then throw it at the rejected Minecraft player, thinking it wouldn’t hurt him? What did you think was gonna-“
“NOT. -blam!-ING. NOW.”
The doorway had landed on top of Tiger, who struggled to lift it up. The door’s symbols glowed a faint purple and were slowly getting brighter. Tiger tried to push it off, only to fail and say, “Hello…Darkness…my old…ass…aughhh…” With that, he moved no more.
Eagle and Nighthawk stood, motionless. “You…you killed him! You killed someone who used to be dead, but now he’s actually dead now!” Eagle accused.
“I KNOW!” Nighthawk nervously stated. “I just wanted him to go away! Wait, hold up, there might be a way to salvage this! I just need a-“
The doors stone hinges swung open, revealing a sea of purplish mist, filling the room up. Purplish light beamed from the doorway, blinding both the cousins. In a span of a few seconds, nothing happened. The doors stood open, revealing the truest depths of the Void. Then, without hesitation, a purple smokey figure jumped from the doorway and landed on it’s back, kicking the doors shut. The doors mist and glow faded, but the blue artifact rolled away from the door.
Nighthawk stuttered to finish his statement. “-mo-moment…”
The smokey purple figure laid there for several more minutes, before finally solidifying into the physical form, of Speakerofthedeep. Nighthawk screeched at the top of his lungs. Speaker was covered in rags, his hair elongated, his eyes sunken and dark, his whole mannerism screaming of emo.
“FRESH AIR UPON MY SKIN IS LIKE A THOUSAND MINIATURE SEA URCHINS GOING AT A SMALL BABY WHALE!” Speaker moaned.
With the final nail in the coffin of sanity, both Eagle and Nighthawk began to incoherently ramble. They were scared, surprised, but most of all, horrified. “MY EXISTENCE IS FRAUGHT WITH THE SUFFERING OF THE INNOCENT.” Speaker moaned. “THE LIGHT BURNS! FOR I HAVE NEVER BEEN WORTHY OF-*Wheeze*” Speaker complained more.
“I’m sad! I WANNA GO BACK INTO THE DOORWAY!” He whined. Nighthawk and Eagle kept rambling on while he kept talking. “THE DOORWAY DOES NOT JUDGE!!!! It just hates!!”
“Is that really Speaker of the Deep?!” Nighthawk asked. “WHY IS HE HERE?!”
“Uh…Nighthawk?” Eagle tapped his shoulder.
“Oh look, it’s Nighthawk. Aka Bird -blam!- supreme. Ugh, so this is my punishment. To see the crimson Duolingo owl before me. A fitting punishment.” Speaker solemnly said. Just then, the doorway crashed down further onto Tiger. “Oh, and you, Tiger. Ugh, it’s the Murder Mystery all over again. Now we just need the ghost of Lord Graviton haunting us.”
“You are weak, SPEAKER!” The ghost of Lord graviton hovered above Speaker.
“I am aware, Grav. Thank you.” Speaker replied.
“WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!” Nighthawk screeched.
“COUS! We gotta go!” Eagle pulled him toward the entrance where Dango and a few soldiers stood, in complete and utter silence and disbelief. With seconds hesitation, they raised their weapons. “ALRIGHT WE ARE OUT OF HERE!” Eagle yelled, pressing his emergency teleportation button, teleporting the Birds and the Orb out of danger, leaving Speaker and Tiger to Dango.
-
Gg tiger.