[i][b]Acryllis, Sol[/i][/b]
[i]Araxinus stalks the barren desert. It’d been a couple days since he got the green light, and he was started to get bored. Maybe a little exploring would do the trick.[/i]
[i]He makes his way towards the Amarikys Garden, a place of local folklore and legend. As he nears the garden, he decides to take a break in the great city of Soleil La Vie.[/i]
Guard: Good evening, sir! Please identify yourself.
Araxinus: I’m Araxinus, just here to relax for a bit.
[i]The guard waves him in. Araxinus sits on a bench in the town square. The city is quiet, even for a Saturday afternoon. Apollyon sits next to him.[/i]
Apollyon: Haven’t seen you around here before, are you new?
Araxinus: Umm, no, just passing through.
Apollyon: I see, make yourself comfortable and relax.
Araxinus: Might I ask, who are you?
Apollyon: I’m Apollyon, second child of our great Silver Queen.
[i]Araxinus stares at her in confusion.[/i]
Araxinus: Wait, you’re telling me she has kids?
Apollyon: Yeah, sucks being the middle child.
[i]Araxinus sighs, just as Nova walks down the street.[/i]
Nova: Hey… what is [i]he[/i] doing here?
[i]Araxinus looks at Apollyon, then at Nova, and then back to Apollyon.[/i]
Araxinus: I’m toast, aren’t I?
Nova: I’m not mad, just curious.
Araxinus: I’m just here to relax, sorta passing through.
Nova: That’s fine, just don’t—
[i]She’s cut off by a loud rumbling sound in the distance. Apollyon’s eyes widen.[/i]
Nova: We’re gonna have bigger problems than just a trespasser.
[i]The group runs to the spire, preparing to fight horrors unseen.[/i]
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Hey, you tried the scripting! From my reader's perpective, it looks 100x better. Everything's cleaner, more organized, the dialouge flows more smoothly, the action don't disrupt the conversation, and its much easier to comprehend. Did you run into any bumps writing it?