it's not my internet btw thought it was just while using strand but seems to not matter
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Having good internet doesnt make connection issues impossible. It can be a configuration problem caused by your console/PC, modem, router, and/or ISP. Theres quite a bit of info on Bungies website about settings you can look into to see if it helps. If its not a widespread problem it probably actually is on your end or it would be happening to nearly everyone. It would be nice if those issues werent a thing and there was better compatability but theres not and its likely some of it they cant do much about regardless of what they change.