[url=http://jalopnik.com/naked-florida-man-declares-he-loves-cocaine-and-tries-t-451343880]Goddamnit Florida:[/url][quote]This just in from the drug-fueled vehicle-related rampage capitol of the United States: A 21-year-old Florida man has been arrested after police say he went on a nude rampage through an apartment complex, tried to steal a woman's car with a child inside, and jumped on the hood of a police car all while declaring he loved cocaine. Which he needed more of, apparently. (We'll agree to disagree there.)
According to this report in the NWF Daily News, the man, who they did not name, caused residents at an apartment complex to call police after he was found running around naked and screaming at people. He tried to steal a woman's car with her baby inside, but was unsuccessful.
When the police showed up, the man -- having now obtained pajama pants -- jumped on top of their car, and then shouted that he "loved cocaine" and "needed more cocaine."
After a chase the man had to be Tased twice, and fled police after losing his jammie pants once again. From the story:
[quote] “Statements from the defendant were not possible as he would only state he loved cocaine and needed more cocaine,” the officer wrote in the arrest report.[/quote]
He was charged with resisting an officer without violence. Keep up the great work, Sunshine State! The rest of you, get your mandatory Bugs Bunny .GIF ready.[/quote]
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They found me! What should I do my brothers?!