Turns out I took 1400mg of both Tylenol Extra and Advil in the past 12 hours.
Is that bad?
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This one is easy ... First up ... get some Redbull down, several cans (didn't mention your weight, but go 3 to 5 cans). Next go the alcohol, straight vodka if you have it. The increased metabolic rate, plus toxin overload (alcohol & acetaminophen combo) should cause you to pass out, you may get a mild rash and sweat before you do ... but thats just natures way. This should then earn you a free trip to a trained medico who can put you on the right past.