originally posted in:The Black Garden
The flak from the Cabal’s weapon pummeled the fractured barricade sheltering the Warlock and Titan. Their armored foe advanced through the rust sandstorm, its growls adding to the cacophony.
The guardians’ retaliatory gunfire was little more than the grains of Martian sand in the gale.
“She’ll be here,” said the Warlock.
Beyond their rapidly weakening refuge lay a forsaken, buried city devoid of life. Without these warriors, only cloth and twisted metal in the wind would remain—echoes of the Golden Age, relinquishing secrets to the sands.
“You’ve spent too much time studying the Traveler, and not enough other people,” said the Titan. “She’s not coming.”
Not waiting for a rebuttal, the Titan slipped from cover, rocket launcher at his shoulder.
Scorching explosions met alien armor. The Warlock seized the opportunity, leapt onto the giant’s back, one hand finding a hold, the other firing incandescent blue fusion rounds into the beast’s neck; until a monstrous hand found cloak, heaving him into a support beam of the abandoned transit station.
The Cabal raged, sprinting for the Titan and trapping the human in its hands. A ferocious growl as the Titan’s bones began to crack. The end was coming. But death’s expected silence never arrived. Instead, the distant but familiar whirr of something coming, then louder, before he was thrown away.
A Sparrow hurtled into the behemoth, engulfing it in a steel inferno.
A slender silhouette floated above the chaos and flames; the flash of two hand cannons, firing in unison into the top of the Cabal’s head. With a horrific moan, the Cabal released itself to the sands, crumbling into a tangled mess of alien and wreckage.
“Remember the part where I said to tread quietly?” The Hunter holstered her revolvers.
The Warlock turned to his companion. “Told you she’d show.”
English
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That was awesome, wish it didn't end I want more :,(
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why do these have to end!!! With these Fists
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bro, it pains me to know my story didn't make the cut, but I can see it was because people like you can do so much more with less. and I surprisingly found myself connecting with the characters. if you do do a follow up story/series, I'll definitely have to read them. kudos.
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wow! Very good!
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Thanks! Glad you liked it!
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It hurts me to know that my baby didn't make it into the finals, but with this I realize I have been bested. Nice work.
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I appreciate you saying that, but I feel lucky that people are enjoying this story. You're never sure about the reaction after putting a piece of writing out there. I'm fortunate that this one seemed to resonate with people. Thanks again!
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Fortune be with you, opponent!
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And to you.
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It hurts me to say this, but telling from everybody's reactions, I think I already know who's won... Very well written. I did see a few bits that could be improved here and there (e.g. lines 12-13; not sure how something could be [u]at[/u] your shoulder, rather than [u]on[/u] it. Maybe it's just me, though), but other than that, a good read. Nice work!
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Thanks for saying that. Glad you liked it. And thank you for the feedback.
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Always happy to help!
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Best one yet! You're gonna follow up right?
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Looks like I'm gonna have to. Glad you enjoyed it!
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This is definitely my favorite one of the ones that I've read. And I've read around 100. Great job, really makes me wish this was longer and there was more!
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Thank you! Means a lot to hear people are enjoying it. I may have to write some more pieces.
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very well done, Ronin. I really enjoyed this one.
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I really liked this too. Just a quick question though, are we allowed a little bit of leniency with the 300 words? I see a few that are really good, but they're just a tad over 300, (like this one)
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yeah, a little bit.
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Thanks! And thanks for facilitating the contest.
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it was not a problem at all. I get to read so many good works and writers are finally getting attention that they deserve.
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Great Job! Enjoyed reading.
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Thanks so much!