originally posted in:The Black Garden
Well this is the first part of my story line that i just finished. Hope you all like it. I am open to criticism. It IS my first story, so don't blame me if it's bad. (I guess you technically can..since i did make it)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Sx-y5hrCUqj2_emLFgF2DH0Wd1uuUCUa03mHEvE69bk/edit
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I liked this. Some tips: 1) Be careful when using words to references as "humans" and "fallen". Sometimes it's better to use other words to refer to them. This way you can prevent monotony in your story. 2) Be extra careful to make sure you edit your story before you submit it. Then wait a day or two, read again and when you are content submit it. If you're not, you rinse and repeat. 3) Most of all, don't forget to have fun. ;) I can see you enjoyed writing this. I hope to read more of you in the months to come. [b]-Akuto, also known as Cpt Starflare.[/b]
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good story enjoyable read. would like to read more
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Great story, only advice would be not to reference humans as much; or as little as possible, but it was good and i hope to hear more!
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…cool story bro… ( i had to ) : )
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Nice story
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That's awesome i love stories like these
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Hey this is really cool.. Although im not sure if its supposed to be a back-story for a character your going to be playing as. Which would kinda be impossible because you cant play a fallen. Maybe they could instead of laser blading you, do some weird stuff so you look like an Exo. :D nice job
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I didn't get to read the whole thing because I didn't have time, but from what I read, it seems pretty cool. There were a few grammar errors though but who cares.
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That Necrobump though.