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Edited by Durable Sausage:
8/15/2013 6:18:51 AM
37
Good night everyone!
It's almost midnight, PST. But before I leave, will you tell me a bed time story?
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Another: [quote]When you’re working the night shift at an all-night diner, be careful taking out the trash. When you go outside… Out where the dumpster is… It’s kind of dark out there. You’re not afraid? Well I am. Especially after… Well, you know. You don’t remember? It was all over the news. I probably shouldn’t tell you. It would ruin the night shift for you. You mean you’ve never heard the story of the “Hash-Slinging Slasher?” The Slash-Bringing Hasher? The Sash-Ringing Flasher? The Trash-Singing Basher. The Mash-Flinging Dasher? The Flash-Stringing Gasher? The Crash-Dinging Masher? The Hash-Slinging Slasher, yes. But most people just call him “The Ha-AAAAAAARGH!” because that’s all they have time to say before he gets them. Years ago at this very diner, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook – just like you – only clumsier. And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties… It happened. He cut off his own hand by mistake. He replaced his hand with a rusty spatula and then he got hit by a bus and at his funeral, they fired him. So now, every Tuesday night, his ghost returns to the restaurant to wreak his horrible vengeance. And tonight is Tuesday night! He’ll be coming. There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher: First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he’s already dead. Then he taps on the window with his grizzly spatula hand. He opens the door. He slowly approaches the counter… And do you know what he does next? You really want to know? Are you sure you want to know? He gets ya![/quote]
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i was sexy
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once a upon a time a somebody named Durable Sausge was sexy and said good night in the in the middle of the afternoon the end.
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Once upon a time, there lived a people called the trids. The trid's were a good people. All year they worked hard on their village to keep it looking it's best. They grew crops to feed the village, and welcomed visitors with open arms. But overlooking the village was a large mountain, and in the mountain lived a giant. The giant would come out once a year, and terrorize the trids. He would kick them, and punch them, pull up their crops, and ruin their years work. There was nothing the grids could do, because the giant was so powerful. So one day, a rabbi came to the village, and told the Trids he had a plan to rid them of the giant. He told the trids to dig a wide and deep trench surrounding the village, and to put sharpened sticks in it. The Trids worked all year on this, in hopes that the giant would leave them alone. Finally the day, came, when the giant went to terrorize the Trids. Everyone watched the giant come, and anticipated him falling to his doom. But the giant just stepped over the trench, and began punching and kicking the Trids. But, he completely left the rabbi alone. The rabbi, awestruck by the giants actions, yelled up, "oh giant, why are you doing this to the Trids? Why pass me?" the giant paused and laughed "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
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Cluck-Trap was once a normal, unassuming claptrap with conflicted programming. He felt like a rakk stuck in a robot's body. He spent his life dreaming of soaring with the rakk and sleeping with the rakk hive. One day, he met a strange scientist named Dr. Sanders, who said he could transform him into a rakk-trap for a fee. The confused claptrap jumped at the chance to soar with the rakk. However, the operation went terribly wrong. He was transformed into some kind of chicken-trap instead of a flying fearless rakk. The only good that came form the operation was his new job as mascot for the Sanders Pandora Fried Rakk restaurants. It wasn't long before "Cluck-Trap" was making appearances all over town. However, Cluck-Trap soon realized that he was seen as a clown and not the fierce rakk he had always dreamed about. He became bitter and started lashing out at everyone. He began to hit the sauce (he really enjoyed the medium-spicy wing sauce). He became so unpredictable that nobody wanted him around. Eventually all his Sanders gigs dried up and became a recluse. He still thinks he is a rakk and has been reportedly hanging around Sanders Gorge attacking anyone that gets near. Perhaps he is trying to convince them that he is a rakk. Perhaps he is still on the sauce.
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Good bump.
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There was once two guys walking down a side walk. They continued to walk around a corner and eventually left my line of sight. I then went about my business because I had no idea who they were and it wasn't my concern. The end. Oh and there is a monster under your bed who says he wants to have your babies. The end of the end.
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Do you wish me a good night, or mean that it is a good night whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this night; or that it is a night to be good on?
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"What's your name, little girl?" "MIKE WAZOWSKI!"
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6 RepliesOnce, a baby mole who escaped his crib. He walked the wasteland and found a another baby baby mole rat, they vowed to become best freinds and to help people in need. One day they saw a man in a shirt with the number "101" on it, they ran to the man so anxious to help.. Then time went slow.. [i]almost as if time stopped[/i] both the baby mole rates were killed an then butchered for mole meat. The end.
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You know this site has turned to shit when threads like these become hot topics.
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There once was a man named Joseph Smith, Dum Dum Dum Dum Duuummm ...
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Once there was a guy named dick... Dick died the end
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Where do you live? In New York its only 9:50
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1 Reply[i] [/i]
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zzzzz
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There was once an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
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I'm going to teabag you while you sleep and then take pictures of you with your pants down and a shampoo bottle stuck in your butt.
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Your about to here a story about the thread that never dies.
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2 Replies
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[i]bed time story[/i]
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Once upon a time. The end.
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Once upon a time, there was a happy piece of lettuce. Suddenly huge teeth bit down and engulfs the piece of lettuce, and it is no-more
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1 ReplyEdited by Stukka Bomb Diva: 8/16/2013 4:57:16 PMWhy is this thread reported?
