I woke up and rolled out of bed, dreading going to work. However, on my way there I encountered an odd Asian family. At first they seemed fairly normal, however, upon further inspection I realized they were actually all members of the Chinese mafia based in Los Angeles. After I confronted them about it, they began to attack me, and for hours on end I was locked in guerrilla warfare with them among the city streets. Luckily, through a series of magnificent and glorious action scenes I defeated them, married the bosses' wife, and ate their youngest child. Now here I am on a throne of their body parts, munching on the leftovers of a delicious Asian child, and recounting the events that led me up to this moment. Ah, life is good.