This is the situation:
A girl I've been going out with and being intimate with for the past year (not officially in a relationship though) has also been going out with another guy. In the end it looks like he was more successful, and the girl admitted to me that he liked him after they went out several times together over winter break. [b]HOWEVER, me and the girl happen to be close friends as well, and she told me she wouldn't date the guy formally even though they liked each other.[/b]
The questions I have are:
1. Does going out with a guy but not announcing it count as dating?
2. We did basically everything couples do other than making out and sex (but we weren't officially in a relationship). Does this mean I had been basically dating her? (related to the first question)
3. She said a while back she would go out with me for Valentine's Day. Do you think think this offer still stands? If so, should I still do it?
4. Should I stop being friends with her? How should I deal with the current situation?
5. Is it actually possible/worth it for a guy and a girl to be just friends forever and not date?
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1: Depends on your definition of "dating". In the end, what's done is done and it doesn't matter what you call it. 2: Again, depends on your definition. IMO, bang-buds, -blam!--pals, lovers, whatever. It was what it was. 3: Times change, promises become null and void. 4: Do you value the friendship? If so yes. Are you thinking about continuing the friendship for an occasional romp? Then it's a matter of how you feel and if that investment is worth the possibility of no romps and being friends. 5: Absolutely. It's a mistake IMO to try to make a template for friends, dating, lovers, etc. and then try to force the relationship to match the template and your personal definition of "what this should be". If you have someone in your life who you enjoy having there? Keep them. If you or they want to alter the relationship? Discuss it. If the change is mutually agreeable and both like it better the new way? Wonderful!