[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Attack-of-the-Alts-A-Floodian-Epic/en/Forum/Post?id=63546072#referred-OfficerNasty]The Prelude[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-One-Confinement-Attack-of-the-Alts/en/Forum/Post?id=63553629#referred-OffTopic]Chapter One: Confinement[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Two-Surprise-Attack-of-the-Alts/en/Forum/Post?id=63580047#referred-OfficerNasty]Chapter Two: Surprise![/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post?id=63594627]Chapter Three: The Mansion[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Four-The-Mountain-Pass-Attack-of-the-Alts/en/Forum/Post?id=63616181#referred-OffTopic]Chapter Four: The Mountain Pass[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Five-Darkness-in-Destiny-City-Attack-of-th/en/Forum/Post?id=63649315#referred-AttackoftheAlts]Chapter Five: Darkness in Destiny City[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Six-Meanwhile-in-Bungie-PalaceAttack-of-th/en/Forum/Post?id=63662728#referred-OffTopic]Chapter Six: Meanwhile, in Bungie Palace…[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Seven-An-Unexpected-Proposal-Attack-of-the/en/Forum/Post?id=63672818#referred-OffTopic]Chapter Seven: An Unexpected Proposal[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Eight-Ambush-Attack-of-the-Alts/en/Forum/Post?id=63688919#referred-OffTopic]Chapter Eight: Ambush[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Nine-The-Trek-to-Mount-Infinity/en/Forum/Post?id=63728219]Chapter Nine: The Trek to Mount Infinity[/url]
[url=http://www.bungie.net/7_Chapter-Ten-Taken-sorry-for-the-delay/en/Forum/Post?id=63808480#referred-OffTopic]Chapter Ten: Taken[/url]
[u]Chapter Eleven: The Powers Vested Within[/u]
Officer Nasty passed through the pearly gates and gazed upon Silent Bob’s temple in astonishment. The diamond structure glistened in the sunlight, coupled with a magnificent statue of Achronos on the front of the roof. The pure silence of this serene paradise brought a chill down his spine. A cobblestone path with assorted shrubbery on each side led to a large staircase preceding the temple. As Officer Nasty began walking towards the stairs, he noticed that there were a group of marble tiles grouped with the cobblestone, each containing the name of a Ninja engraved in them. What was really peculiar was that all the engraved tiles circled around one single tile, which was left blank. He thought nothing of it and started climbing the hulking staircase, one step at a time. His hamstrings tightened with each step up, as the stairs differed about two feet each in height, followed by heavy breaths. After 15 minutes of struggling to climb the flight of stairs, Officer Nasty finally reached the apex and faced a pair of massive, wooden double doors.
Before he could approach the doors, they opened by themselves, revealing two bearded sages who were similar to the ones that appeared after his battle with Shrek. They shared the same pure white robes, but instead of gold seventh columns stitched into them, they were bright blue. Golden necklaces hung around their necks, containing a large “7” pendant. One of the sages stepped forward and opened his arms in a welcoming manner towards Officer Nasty. “We’ve been expecting you, Chosen One. I am Elder DeeJ,” said the sage as he pointed towards his identical counterpart. “And this is Elder Stosh. Please, come in.” Elder DeeJ and Stosh seemed to be completely in sync as they turned around and walked back into the temple. Officer Nasty followed them into the temple and heard the doors magically shut behind him.
The inside of the temple was the most glorious thing he had ever seen. Marble pillars connected the floor tiles with the roof above, which was adorned with beautiful oil paintings. Flickering torches were found cast on the walls, seemingly keeping the temple with light with no signs of burning out. Elder DeeJ turned back around, faced Officer Nasty, and said, “You may leave your weapons with Elder Stosh, for you won’t need them beyond this point.” Officer Nasty withdrew his revolver, grabbed his banhammer, and handed them to the awaiting Elder. “Now, it is time for you to meet Silent Bob,” said Elder DeeJ as he began walking down the hallway leading to a main chamber. Officer Nasty was about to raise his voice and speak, but he was immediately shushed by Elder Stosh. “You may not speak in the presence of Silent Bob,” commanded Elder Stosh, as he stowed Officer Nasty’s belongings in a large, diamond-studded wooden chest. “Not until he has connected with him, of course,” chimed Elder DeeJ. “Time is fleeting, Chosen One.” Officer Nasty followed him into a surprisingly large, empty chamber, containing only a stone throne against the wall. Sitting upon the throne was a sage identically clothed like the other Elders, but this one appeared to be considerably older. He had a long, flowing gray beard which touched the floor, and he sat hunched over a wobbling cane in his right hand. The fossil of a man locked eyes with Officer Nasty once he walked into the room, and did not blink or remove his gaze.
Elder DeeJ strutted towards Silent Bob, bowed, and stood to the right of him. “You must approach Silent Bob and lay your thumb on his forehead,” said Elder DeeJ, “For that is the only way he can communicate with mortals.” Officer Nasty gave him a look of confusion, but decided not to question his methods. He slowly trudged towards the seated Silent Bob, kneeled in front of him, and placed his thumb on his wrinkled forehead. He felt a cold rush flow through his hand and into his body, freezing him still. His vision blackened for a couple seconds, until he awoke lying face up on a lush patch of grass, facing a clear, beautiful sky. He quickly sat up in a state of panic and felt his heart race as he realized he had no idea what happened. His panic ceased when he spotted Silent Bob approaching him, seemingly hovering inches off of the ground.
“Relax, Chosen One,” Said Silent Bob in a deep, unexpectedly powerful voice.
“Where am I?” asked Officer Nasty as he rose to his feet, tending to his head as he was experiencing a painful headache. They were standing on a small, grassy island surrounded by crystal clear waters, a paradise unlike Officer Nasty had ever seen before.
“You are in the realm that I have created for myself,” answered Silent Bob. “When I invented the magic of Muting, I found out the hard way that my voice within your physical realm would be altered forever, thus rendering it too powerful for mortal ears. I am confined within this realm for eternity, and I have put this time to good use by teaching a less powerful way of muting to those that are worthy.”
“I don’t understand…Why have you chosen me?” asked Officer Nasty. “I am just a simpleton, who has never accounted for anything during my life.”
Silent Bob clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and slowly spread his hands apart, evidently opening a window into another dimension. This window revealed JOHN CENA sitting on Achronos’s throne with Shadows on his lap. Behind JOHN CENA was the mural of the prophecy, depicted on stained glass which stretched across the back wall of the palace.
“The prophecy states that a powerful tyrant will emerge and usurp the throne from Achronos, raining fire from the sky and creating havoc amongst your peaceful country.” Silent Bob continued to explain as his window slowly slid through each scene of the painting. “But, an average citizen will emerge from the masses, gather a ragtag group of friends, and embark on an epic journey to cleanse Bungie of this impurity.” Silent Bob closed the window to Officer Nasty’s realm and opened his eyes.
“You must accept that you are the Chosen One, and you must fulfill your prophecy.”
Officer Nasty felt a rush of excitement flow through his body, as he began to realize that he has the chance to make something of his life. Even though he had spent most of his days meandering around in Flood City, participating in meaningless arguments and activities, he now has the chance to become a true hero. The hero he had always dreamed of.
“Okay,” said Officer Nasty as he let out a long sigh of relief, “I accept this responsibility.”
“Then it is time to begin.”
Silent Bob floated down to the ground and walked towards Officer Nasty, humming some sort of unknown chant. He halted and leaned close towards Officer Nasty’s face, staying about six inches from him. He placed his palms on Officer Nasty’s temples, tilted his head towards the sky, and began his ritual.
“By the power vested in me, I command my powers to transfer into the Chosen One!”
A bolt of lightning struck down on Silent Bob, sending a surge of energy through his arms and into Officer Nasty’s skull. He could hear faint voices flooding into his consciousness and had a rushing sensation into his hands. Silent Bob removed his grasp on Officer Nasty’s head, which caused him to fall to his knees and collapse on the ground.
Elder DeeJ observed Officer Nasty’s body twisting and thrusting like he was suffering from an intense seizure, which continued for over 10 minutes. All of a sudden, his violent seizures halted and he awoke, his head lying in a pool of saliva. “Arise, Chosen One, your trials must begin.”
Officer Nasty pushed up onto his knees and stood up, feeling a tingling sensation sink down his body. Elder DeeJ exited the room for a moment and returned with a small wooden chair, placing it in the center near Officer Nasty. “I’m deriving from your seizures that you received Silent Bob’s chant?” Officer Nasty answered by nodding his head in agreement. “Have a seat.”
He sat in the chair, resting his hands on his knees, but still felt the effects of whatever Silent Bob did to him by his fingers twitching uncontrollably. Elder DeeJ left the room once again, but took considerably longer to return. He came back with a stranger dressed in ragged clothes and a leash securely fastened on his neck, and locked the door behind him.
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BUMP BUMP MOTHER-blam!-ER!!