Some inspiration, courtesy Bash.org. [spoiler]<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book <JonJonB> Let's see the results... <JonJonB> Ok <JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof <JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all <JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? <melusine > O_______O <JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang <JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip. <JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.[/spoiler]