I'm looking for feedback on an essay I'm writing, about the moral justification of torture. The point is to argue the position using several different moral systems. The point of this thread isn't to debate torture, and I want to make clear that the essay may or may not reflect my actual views. Any feedback is great, but I'm particularly interested in whether my arguments are clear and consistent, whether you feel there is a strong thesis, and any grammatical issues.
[url=https://www.dropbox.com/s/w3zxgi07yh09g31/Torture%20Essay%20Sample.docx]Sample portion[/url] (download it since the preview cuts off the top paragraph for some reason)
Stuff that's good: "Turkey, your essay sucks because your argument about the doctrine of double effect on page 3 is completely wrong." [It actually is, and I need to change it]
Stuff that's bad: "Turkey, your essay sucks because torture is mean and I hate you."
Stuff to consider:
Is my language too flowery? (i.e., am I using big words just to sound smart)
Do I ignore counterarguments?
Do I have any filler? Can anything be cut?
Etc.
Edit: Sources will be added later.
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A bit too expressive for my taste (given that it's a non-fictional topic), but maybe that's just your style at work. Solid "intending to saving innocent lives" argument. Consider throwing in this notion: acts of torture are justified in times of war (regardless of what the Geneva Convention promulgates). In a war-time scenario where morality is constantly being crossed, torture is acceptable because it merges seamlessly within the greater situation.