I'm in the car lying down in the backseat because road trip listening to music and shit and I tried to like shift my penis to a more comfortable position and I felt a sharp cutting sensation on it. I was like "oh shit that hurts I'll move it the other way". Same effect. I did some investigation and I realized that somehow a thread inside my boxers formed a noose around my dick! The only way to free my willy would be either to rip the thread, which would hurt like shit because I'd have to like push it against the thread so that wouldn't be good, or to free it by extracting my peepee from the thread directly, keeping in mind I can't like take off my pants or anything because I'm in a car with my famyfam. I chose the second option. And good Shrek did that hurt. No Bel Air. No Dinosaur. No Spaghetti. Ow.
But Willy has now been freed and the pain has subsided since typing this on my phone.