Theres this really nice girl at school, funny, energetic, a lil loco, thought she was way out of my league.
But lately, we started to talk more, and she seemed to take a real interest to me, despite having a boyfriend.
But, I gave her my number and address, not knowing the wiser, and she gave me a sweet kiss and told me she was coming to my house tonight. On the way home I was excited, but caught a glare from her boyfriend.
So I got myself ready, and my family out of the house, about to call her as she was a bit late, when a leopard skin Romanian monster truck bulldozed through my kitchen extension. She jumped out of the truck with bedazzled nerd gun, and platinum mace dildo, and a dead owl on a chain around her neck, dressed up as miku hatsune with a tony blair mask with the inverted illuminati symbol on it. She screamed, shattering every glass object in my kitchen, and imploding my hamster, befor fornicating my tiddlywinks trophy.
Her boyfriend followed out of the car as well, dressed as a half naked, black faced, Steve bucemi furry, and twerking on my hamsters cage. This seemed to have angered the lost souls of the ancient celtic grave my house is on, who have risen from the dead to eat my PEGI 12 wii games.
I am currently locked in the bathroom; the phones only produce pixel bit versions of gangam style, and the girl is screaming at the top of her lungs in a poor christopher walken impression "WHERE THE HELL IS MY THRONE! I AM THE PRINCE OF BEL AIR!!!"
What do flood?
PS, she has a toy aye aye in her pooper.
-
You know whenever you're skydiving and you feel like such a badass that you start doing flips and shit, but because of the tension you put on the pack by flailing your arms you accidentally rip the parachute and panic, but you eventually come to terms with your inevitable death and decide to speed shit up by turning your body into a torpedo and explode into chunks? Well that escalated about as quickly as whenever you decide to speed shit up.