You must now make caprese salad, pasta carbonara, and tiramisu for the user you thought of with the weapon you thought of; because lets face it, you choose a weapon and not a tool because you thought this was going to be a deathmatch.
How screwed are you? Please note that if you picked me, I'm an experienced cook when it comes to Italian, and I HATE poorly made Italian food.
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Kamots gets a meal cooked with a file, I guess it could be worse.