Literally every girl I'm interested goes out with the jerk. Why can't they date a nice guy like me? It's completely stupid.
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Edited by TheArtist: 8/19/2014 1:45:56 PM1. Unless you treat a woman badly, what she is attracted to is more about HER than it is about you. 2. What she is attracted is a combination of three things: Family history; Cultural programming; and biology. 3. Family history. Most people---women especially---tend to be attracted to people who blend the personality traits of their parents (or other primary care giver). Often they are attracted to people who bear a physical resemblance to their opposite-sex parent. 4. Culture. People are bombarded from the time they are young that they are supposed to find certain things appealing. Women are bombarded with the message that they are suppose to want a "high-status" (tall, strong, dominant, wealthy) male. T 5. There are many biological (scent) cues that will affect whom women find attractive. Drawing them towards people who are biologically different than they are (avoid in-breeding), and away from people who are biologically too similar to themselves. Women are not perfect. They are not infallible. They are not goddesses. So don't put your sense of self-worth in their hands. Many women are "attracted to jerks". ....because they don't know any better. They may have grown up in homes with fathers who weren't particularly good to them....or weren't even there. They may have ideas that "love" has to be this painful emotional roller-coaster...so they get "bored" (read: anxious) when they are in the presence of someone who treats them decently. Others seek the "high-status" male...and often that comes with some mildy anti-social traits. So they wind up with someone who is self-centered...or even hostile. At the end of the day....the rejection may FEEL personal....but it isn't. It just means that she's looking for a pattern that you don't fit...and you may not even WANT to fit. Be yourself...and see who shows up. As women mature, they start to develop a better appreciation of "nice guys" that they usually lack when they are young. As they start to look for husbands and fathers...and not just "exciting" boyfriends. Trust me. You'd rather be HATED for who you truly are than "loved" for someone you aren't. Be the kind of mate you wish to attract. IOW, if you want someone whose going to look for deeper character traits in you...and not go for a flashy exterior....then you must be prepared to do the same. Don't ask for someone to appreciate your deeper traits...while you can't see past the head of the cheerleading squad and the homecoming queen.