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originally posted in:Floodatia
8/28/2014 12:33:45 AM
7
*steps up onto stage platform* Ladies and gentlemen! What you are about to witness is not for the faint of heart! If you are pregnant, suffer from a nervous disposition, or are just a wuss, please leave now for your own safety. For today, I shall sacrifice a… *drum roll* [i][b]Live Desticle![/b][/i] *gasps from the audience* Now, these Desticles are extremely dangerous! Don't let it touch you, at all costs! If it does, you might become like [i]them[/i]! *shudders* Without further ado, bring him out! *two attractive women in sequinned leotards wheel out a human-sized cage on stage* *the audience is silent in horror* *the Desticle looks vaguely humanoid, but with foam pouring from its mouth and it's limbs flailing wildly. It's voice squeals like a dying pig as it shouts such atrocities as "wat clas u gon pleh?" and "nerf teh devel warker!" The audience reels in terror as foamy saliva sprays from its mouth.* *tentatively opens the cage and binds the writhing creatures wrists and ankles* *drags it out onto the makeshift sacrificial altar and draws sacrificial dagger* Now, friends, do you see why these creatures are not permitted into the civilized world? Let's put this one out of his misery! *pulls up hood and begins to chant* [i]Quia arbor barba gloria![/i] [i]Et quia omne quod est diluvium floodian![/i] [i]Permixta omnia coria igne conburite![/i] *slits the desticle's throat as it's cries die down. In its last breath it says "Deej iz luv, Deej iz lyfe!" with an evil smirk on its horrific face* *sickened applause from the crowd* Thankyou! Thankyou! You're all incredibly kind! *bows and leaves the stage* *the women clean up the mess and wheel the cage away*
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