I can't in good faith say that i'd have the mental or emotional strength to have another child anytime soon. However, hypothetically i'd try to finish school while keeping my part time job in hopes that I could cover at least part of the child's expenses...but in all honesty the thought of that makes me miserable and suicidal thoughts are more comforting. I haven't had them in years but when considering the possibility of having another kid...I can't help what pops into my head. Even without those thoughts in mind I already have times where I become sad for no reason and feel as though my efforts towards a decent future are ultimately pointless. I realize these thoughts and emotions have no base considering how things are going for me right now and I shouldn't let them slow my pace or get me down, but it feels sort of like trying to walk through mud or tar when i'm in those moods. I've never done that second one of course, but i'd imagine it'd be pretty damned difficult if not impossible.