I could sacrifice it to the Pie Gods and hope that they give you some pie?

Would it be apple or random?

I don't friggin know, man. That's up to the Pie Gods. Let me see: [i]O, mighty Pie Gods, bestow upon us your mightiest Pie of the Apple variety, accept this humble goat of the Earth as payment for your service[/i] *stabs goat* *The clouds open and sunlight shines through, angelic voices sing as a solitary golden pie descends on wings of light from the sky* *pie gently comes to rest on the table* *the clouds reappear and the voices stop* Well. Here you go, I guess. Enjoy.

Thank you and thank you mighty pie deities