I don't even know what to say. I've always had my doubts, but I never expected to have them validated, much less in my own lifetime. If you're out there, prepare. The Shrekoning is nigh.
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SOMEONE GET HIM WHAT HE NEEDS!!!! DON'T YOU SEE THE THREAT? IF HE SAYS HE CAN FIGHT HIM, THEN WE NEED TO HELP HIM. RIGHT. NOW! *starts sending money*