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Edited by Dizcostu007:
9/22/2014 7:28:15 PM
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exclusive: cryptarch caught on camera
Ever wondered why you trade in a purple engram and end up getting a super soaker 3000? Is it random? Apparently a new video released to hive News says it is now. It claims to show the cryptarch stealing legendary items then substituting them and finally selling them on eBay intergalactic under user name crypty45. He had also been reported to be making substantial payments to tower escorts and buying faberge orbs.
A complaint was initially raised after exon the awoken traded in items and thought something was wrong "I traded in an exotic engram expecting to get a gun called the legion of doom. Instead I got a picture of the legion of boom and I'm a 49ers fan".
It is unsure though how the footage and account were obtained. Rumours of hacking have been strongly denied. The crucible have agreed to do a full investigation.
In other news Aksor the priest was broken out of jail today only to be brutally murdered by the same three guardians who released him. The fallen church have claimed attacks on priests are on the rise. More on that as it comes in.
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Lol. Nekrobamp
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1 ReplyBump this is so old but funny
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We're Awoken and we're outspoken
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Would've been funny the first month of game's release when Destiny was actually enjoyable.
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Edited by Kylestien: 9/18/2014 2:43:18 PM
Started a new topic: Destiny News! (Parody of Destiny Stuffs, feel free to join in!)(28 Replies))
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This... Is... The best thing ever
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2 RepliesEdited by Vakris One: 9/19/2014 12:06:28 PMBREAKING NEWS JUST IN. Having confiscated and searched the Cryptarch's ghost TowerPol have uncovered secret love messages sent between him and Lakshmi-2 of the Future War Cult. A spokesbot for TowerPol had this to say, [i]"We are very interested in what has been going on between Master Rahool and Lakshmi-2 and not only because of this recent Legendary engrams scandal. Most of us have been speculating for years whether an Awoken, or a Human for that matter, can actually have a physical relationship with an Exo. We will be questioning both parties extensively. That is all."[/i] In other news Lord Shaxx has challenged Commander Zavala to yet another Titanic arm wrestling contest to raise glimmer for the unfortunate Guardians who were swindled by the Cryparch. Ikora Rey will be presiding as guest referee and Cayde-6 has graciously agreed to hand out the event's proceeds to the Guardians that need them most. This is only the second time Zavala and Shaxx have held a charity sponsored contest of might. Their first contest was held in honour of Guardians Without Ships. A splinter group comprised mainly of Warlocks who believed that 'space magic', as they affectionally call the Light given to us by the Traveller, is all one needs in order to traverse space and time. That having a ship is a luxury one should not focus on at this time of great struggle. Since the tragic incident involving a Fireteam of 3 Warlocks accidentally warping into the Sun charity events have been held annually. So far Guardians Without Ships's attempts to travel from Earth to the Moon safely without the use of a jump ship remain unrewarded.
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1 ReplyI had 3 purple engrams yesterday and i got two super soakers 3000 and one exotic rocket launcher, seems like he was drunk ^^
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Edited by Kizakist: 9/24/2014 6:09:09 AM[quote]Apparently a new video released to hive News says it is now. It claims to show the cryptarch stealing legendary items then substituting them and finally selling them on eBay intergalactic under user name crypty45. He had also been reported to be making substantial payments to tower escorts and buying faberge[/quote] Wait.... crypty45?
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Where is the coverage of his sex tape scandal?! This news channel sucks!!!
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Haha, awesome.
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Best part are his Reputation level rewards... Oh here's a Legendary letter containing legendary engrams containing Ascendant energy and Mote of Light! Thank you kind sir...
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Got my vote for post of the week. That was awesome :)
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2 RepliesCan i still give the Cryptarch my engrams? I'm worried after reading this story :p
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I hear he has a sex scandal under investigation. That bastard can't keep his cryptdick out of his cryptpants.
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2 RepliesMe: Silently hand him a purple engram with a picture of a helmet on it. Cryptarch: Hmmm. let's see what we have here...hurry up before I get bored. Me: Silently takes possession of a 1000 year old Pepsi can. Cryptarch: That's a powerful piece of history, I'd hate to be your enemy. Me: Silently puts on Pepsi can...look like a dork and say FUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
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Bloody ahole is what he is. The next time he give me a broken thieves dagger I'm putting it through his heart.
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Dirty bastards. I knew something was up.
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My Legendary Engram gave me a green once... He's such a dick...
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This thread is gold.
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5 Repliesnearly rank ten with Mr cryptarc and still I get spud guns and green armour out of legendary engrams. bunjie your really looking out for your guardians there .we work our asses off for what . shame on you .the rewards don't match the work we do and we will get sick of it pretty soon .
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Hell yeah I want me one of those Super Soaker 3000s.
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So is he related to the Smoking Man or something???
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This little shit gave me 3 green weapons in a row when I had blue enagrams |:
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I knew he was up to some sketchy shit from the first moment I saw him. He's about that lifestyle.
