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Edited by Dizcostu007:
9/22/2014 7:27:31 PM
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exclusive: the sword of crota stolen
It is with a very heavy heart that hive news has to report the sword of crota has been stolen. The theft took place during the early hours of the morning. The sword was on loan to hellmouth from the national hive museum to help raise funds for the victims of the summoning pits massacre.
Sadly there is worse to report. Hundreds were found dead at the scene and according to preliminary post-mortems they may of been murdered with the sword itself, in a further sickening twist. It's whereabouts are currently unknown.
As you may know the sword is used by the royal family ceremonially to knight new hallowed knights (not the others they're not very good). Among the dead were three swarm princes including first inline to the throne garok the blingy. Garok was married last year, in a show of galactic unity, to fallen supermodel Tyra shank. They were expecting their first child. Tyra is said to be fierce with rage.
Hive leaders have called for the tower leadership to act. However the speaker would not return our calls. Although he was seen at the iron banner public house apparently in the company of two awoken females.
Coming up tonight. The concert for Aksor raises over one million glimmer. However organisers have now realised you can't actually buy anything with glimmer. And on the crucible if your ktd is less than one should you just stand there and let people kill you. One man from The reef says yes. More on that later.
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NECRO BUMP!!!!
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4 RepliesLol I just realized after playing that mission 3 or 4 times now that if you press rb it will swing the sword instead of the rt button ground smash thing.
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1 ReplyHahaha your talented
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1 Reply[quote]And on the crucible if your ktd is less than one should you just stand there and let people kill you[/quote] F*cking hilarious! This sh*t is really good.
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Tyra Shank. Ha.. That made me laugh.
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3 Replies*walks in into the tower* "you guys won't believe what I just did......." *looks at the news report* *slowly slips out ghost and goes back to orbit*
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In other news, America says a lone cave in Russia has oil and can't wait to liberate* its inhabitants. [spoiler]*Annihilate[/spoiler]
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These are hilarious! Tyra shank made me laugh till I cried! Great work! I crave more.
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23 RepliesAnd now for Weather, -The weekly forecast shows heavy rain on Venus, no surprise there. Get ready to see a bunch of rusted Vex. -Sunny skies in Russia, as for the rest of the world, we don't know a damn thing. -Expect meteor showers and minimum winds on the Moon. Back to you, Dizcostu.
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Edited by You have been Smormu'd: 10/19/2014 9:14:13 PM"Careful, the sword is dark" Well that explains why they were dead, since they live in the dark, they must have all fallen on it in... the dark
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1 ReplyTyra shank lmao
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1 ReplyExcept the sword was destroyed...
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[quote]Tyra shank[/quote]
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[quote]It is with a very heavy heart that hive news has to report the sword of crota has been stolen. The theft took place during the early hours of the morning. The sword was on loan to hellmouth from the national hive museum to help raise funds for the victims of the summoning pits massacre. Sadly there is worse to report. Hundreds were found dead at the scene and according to preliminary post-mortems they may of been murdered with the sword itself, in a further sickening twist. It's whereabouts are currently unknown. As you may know the sword is used by the royal family ceremonially to knight new hallowed knights (not the others they're not very good). Among the dead were three swarm princes including first inline to the throne garok the blingy. Garok was married last year, in a show of galactic unity, to fallen supermodel Tyra shank. They were expecting their first child. Tyra is said to be fierce with rage. Hive leaders have called for the tower leadership to act. However the speaker would not return our calls. Although he was seen at the iron banner public house apparently in the company of two awoken females. Coming up tonight. The concert for Aksor raises over one million glimmer. However organisers have now realised you can't actually buy anything with glimmer. And on the crucible if your ktd is less than one should you just stand there and let people kill you. One man from The reef says yes. More on that later.[/quote] It's b4ok3
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Funny, funny stuff. Looking forward to more!
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I like stuff like this, sometimes we all need to laugh instead if arguing.
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More story than the game itself. Please keep going!!
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The sword was later discovered broken in half, then duct taped back together, with a bright pink paint job on it and the words "For the lolz" written on the side in glitter.
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1 ReplyI call for the sword to be returned, this is a grievous offence to the Hive peoples. It is all fun and games when a Fireteam pretends to invaded the Fallen caverns to play at sword fighting with one another in the spirit of competition and fairness and is an unspoken rule that the sword be returned to its rightful owners at the end of the bouts. In the stealing of this fine weapon that nefarious guardian surely has put a dampener on Guardian/Hive relations and those of mixed parentage must surely be experiencing difficult internal conflicts as domestic disputes are on the rise. New Monarchy Officer Sgt Morreau had this to say: "In the week since the theft we have been on high alert as domestic disputes amongst the Hive/ Guardian couples have reached a fevered peak. In several instances Hive housewives have taken rolling pins and severely damaged their husbands legendary weapons....."
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I kind of want to read a tabloid piece about Garok the Blingy.
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1 Reply
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Never stop doing these. Please.
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ha! thank you man, way better than the all the crying I just read on other parts of this crazy place
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1 ReplyThis made me smile. Keep it up. Hive/cabal/fallen news networks should be a thing. For those saying the sword is destroyed and not missing - true. But would the leadership allow that information to get out to the masses? That would make them look even less capable to run things; not only taken, but every guardian prince of it killed? Erosion of both the confidence in leadership and general sense of security for the hive layman. As such I suspect the leadership would effectively give a half-truth about it to the media, as per OP's well-crafted narrative.
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1 ReplyAnd this just in Bungie is full of a bunch of -blam!-ing morons that need to die! This game is epic by all means however the creators lack MMO experince! Lets run heroic mode only to die every time your on a boss fight! Bungie is full of retards and lack the experience to make an MMO game fun! I hope this game dies in the next 2-3 weeks because there is NOTHING to do past 24! There is no matching for vault of glass or the weekly lvl 28 strike! Nice job bungie on being completely incompetent on all things MMO!
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Breaking news! Riots are on the rise in Hive communities, as the Guardians dispatched to find the Sword continue to put little to no effort in search of leads! In other news, a break in on Venus costs vex billions, an exclusive interview with Sekrion will give us more on that tonight!
