I'm real sorry for your loss, man.. I think your best bet is to talk to your wife about it. I can understand your hesitation and apprehension, but I think you would forever regret not trying to make it. It's honorable and respectable to want to support your wife in her grieving, especially considering you're thinking of forgoing the funeral for her - and only her - but you've got needs, too. This isn't a decision you should be making on your own. All this being said, she might really need you. She might not be able to focus on work and might want to call or text you throughout the day. Just knowing you're "close" to her in that way could really mean something to her. Either way, you have to make the most informed decision you can. If you don't go, you'll know it's because your wife really needed you. If you do go, you know you had your wife's blessing and won't regret not being home. Regardless of how it works out, I hope the best for you and your wife.