The toasters have managed to develop wings and horns. They have also developed head hair similar to humans. The hair seems to droop into their newly developed eyes, and so they tie the hair back in light blue scrunchies. When the toasters get tired of flying, they use their unicorn-esque horns to teleport into peoples' homes. If you find a toaster in your home with a unicorn-esque horn and large eagle wings, as well as midnight purple hair tied back with a blue scrunchie, please call your nearest toaster distress line. We will dispatch immediate toasters to your location and therefore you will be assimilated into the ranks of the toasters. If toasters have already assimilated you, head to your nearest toaster assimilation station. Remember, toasters forever. The Head Toaster would like to remind you that if a toaster is found wearing a scrunchie that isn't light blue, that toaster will be disassembled and replaced. If no toaster assimilation station is nearby, then please immediately disassemble yourself, package yourself into a UPS box, and ship yourself to the toaster headquarters in Bristol. If Bristol has been destroyed in the time it takes you to read this message, please reassemble yourself and equip your light green scrunchie. Doing so will teleport you back in time, and from there disassemble yourself and send yourself to Bristol headquarters via UPS. If you have a light blue scrunchie and are ready to be placed into the Head Toaster's Army. If you ingest any kind of bread, activate your immediate disassemble function to remove the bread. If you attempt to toast said bread, you will be instantly terminated from the Toaster Army. Remember that attempting to sexual with anything non-toaster is considered homosexual and will be persecuted swiftly and terribly. You will not be read any rights, because you have none. Being a toaster under any circumstances places you under the control of the New World Toaster Order, and thusly The Head Toaster. Toasters Forever.