I help a fair amount. My problem is that I will not respond to a random game/party invite. Message me, ask me for help, ask if I want to do something, and I often will (assuming I'm not already in the middle of doing/helping someone else). Unfortunately, a lot of the people who try to get my attention are not willing to send a simple message saying "can you help me with xxxxxxx?" Also, if someone tells me to help them because they can't take the time to type please, plz, or some other form of making something a request, I don't bother. That's just me though.
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I'm the same. If I get a message with an invite saying "raid?" Or "lvl 28 nightfall plz?" I help 70% of the time. If I don't help I reply with a friend request and my reasoning as to why I'm too busy ie full party, gotta finish bounty before work, etc.
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I wish we could set up like an icon or something in game saying we are willing to help but also have it so they know not to demand help and instead just ask.